Making marriage work

[DEC. 29, 2000]  At 12:01 a.m. on January 1, 1951, George Dahmm and Eva Hunter tied the knot at Immanuel Lutheran Church in Lincoln. Monday they will celebrate 50 years of marriage. What, you may be asking yourself, is the secret to keeping a marriage together for 50 years?  

Eva credited her marriage success to nothing less than divine intervention. "There are three people in our marriage: George, myself and God," she remarked. In addition, George and Eva both placed importance on liking and respecting your spouse. The big "c"-word also came out: commitment. Staying committed to your partner is essential in a healthy marriage.

 


[George and Eva Dahmm]

In recent years, trends in lifestyles and, consequently, in marriage have shifted. Patsy Wilson of Lincoln conducts marriage enrichment weekends and works with couples who want to have healthy marriages. She commented, "People are not committed like their parents were. They just quit instead of working through it."

She went on to point out that, in general, people live apart from their extended families now. The support, guidance, advice and example that the extended family can provide are missing when large separations exist. Couples turn instead to self-help books, classes, videos, and marriage enrichment seminars and weekends.

 

Marriage improvement can begin far in advance, though. It can begin before marriage and even before you meet your spouse. When shopping for a mate, Wilson expressed the importance of looking for someone with the same goals. It is also important to look for someone with similar beliefs and faith. The more similarities you have, the better, says Wilson. However, as the Paula Abdul song goes, opposites attract. Differences attract and intrigue us. The trick seems to be to find differences within your similarities.

Premarital counseling provides another way to improve your marriage in advance. Wilson recommended five sessions prior to the walk down the aisle and one session post-"I do." Premarital counseling provides an opportunity for you to get to know your spouse-to-be and their responses to different situations in a controlled environment with an impartial observer. Premarital counseling is about prevention — preventing marital conflict before it occurs.

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Preventing marital conflict becomes especially important when children arrive on the scene. George and Eva raised four daughters together. They agreed to agree in front of the children and discuss disagreements when the children were not present.

They also realized the importance of honesty in raising children. Honesty played a major role in effectively raising their children and in keeping their marriage healthy. Honesty is what Eva loves most about George. She loves "his honesty, his reliability to me, to his family, to everybody; [and] his complete concern for other people."

 

Honesty falls under positive communication, which is one of the two essentials for a healthy marriage, according to Wilson. "Two things are absolutely needed in a marriage: time and positive communication." Time means spending time alone together without distractions, including kids. Wilson recommended going on dates with your spouse. Positive communication means keeping the communication lines open and being honest with your partner.

Some may need help with their communications skills. Communication is one area that marriage enrichment weekends, such as Wilson’s, can teach. Conflict resolution is another area worked on at these weekends. These important skills can also be improved by seeing a marriage counselor or using self-help systems.

 

But when a marriage has come to the end of the road, the self-help books have not helped and the counselor has not worked either, a trial separation might still be able to put the pieces back together, explained Wilson. Being separated can be a difficult thing for any couple, but it can show you whether there is love enough to keep going.

If you could meet George and Eva, though, you might not ever want to even think about calling it quits. After 50 years together, they have the sparkle of newlyweds mixed beautifully with the silent communication of a seasoned couple.

[Trisha Youngquist]

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Your pet and the holidays

[DEC. 23, 2000]  In the midst of all the holiday hoopla, don't lose sight of the perils the season can hold for your pet. Decorations, electrical cords, holiday greenery, and even gifts and "people food" can pose a hazard to your four-legged friends!

The PetSmart website, http://petsmart.com, is full of useful pet safety information. Here are some of the highlights:

 

—Electrical cords: Dogs and cats (especially kittens and puppies) may find electrical cords a tempting chew-treat. Secure or cover exposed electrical cords to prevent this danger and unplug them when you're not around.

—Christmas trees: If you have an active dog in the house or a house kitty that likes to climb, make sure the tree is securely anchored to keep it from being knocked or pulled over.

 

—Greenery: Mistletoe and holly are toxic to pets, especially the berries. Poinsettias are not as toxic but can result in severe stomach upset. Pine needles, if swallowed by a dog or cat, can cause severe intestinal distress or intestinal perforation.

 

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—People food: The rich treats we indulge in during our holiday celebrations are a big no-no for our pets. Rich foods, especially greasy foods, can give dogs and cats severe gastrointestinal upset or can lead to pancreatitis. Small bones or fragments can cause choking or intestinal blockage. And watch out for chocolate! It contains theobromine, which can be fatal in large doses. Don't leave treats lying around within your pet's reach, for their safety.

 

Another useful website for pet owners is the National Animal Poison Control Center, http://www.napcc.aspca.org/. This site has detailed information regarding the dangers and toxicity levels of several holiday-related pet hazards, from plants and decorations to gifts and art supplies.

Please take the time to make sure your home is safe for the holidays, for both you and your pets. Merry Christmas!

[Cherie Rankin]


Storing your holiday ornaments

[NOV. 27, 2000]  Since many people are spending a small fortune collecting expensive glass ornaments to dress up their Christmas trees, necessary precautions must be taken to store them properly. According to Country Living magazine, there are three essential steps to storing ornaments: Choose the right box, wrap them properly and find an ideal location at home.

A firm box with compartments or dividers is key to preventing delicate ornaments from hitting each other and breaking. Acid-free corrugated board or other archival materials are the ultimate storage, but divided boxes that glass ornaments are sold in will also work when placed inside a larger box or drawer. Avoid placing ornaments in plastic storage boxes because they prevent airflow and trap moisture inside.

Proper packing materials give cherished collectibles an added buffer. Experts prefer acid-free tissue, Bounty microwave paper towels (the only acid-free paper towels currently on the market) and 100-percent-cotton fabric. Don’t wrap ornaments in plastic bubble wrap or newspaper, which can transfer ink onto smooth surfaces, or cram too many items in a compartment.

Closets in the main living areas of the house are ideal, where temperatures and humidity levels are usually stable. Cupboards, chests of drawers and high shelves are other options. If the basement is the only available storage space, place boxes on high shelves and install a dehumidifier to control moisture.

[Penny Zimmerman-Wills]

Robert Prunty
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ABE LINCOLN

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Animals for adoption

 

These animals and more are available to good homes from the Logan County Animal Control at 1515 N. Kickapoo, phone 735-3232.

Fees for animal adoption: dogs, $60/male, $65/female; cats, $35/male, $44/female. The fees include neutering and spaying.

Logan County Animal Control's hours of operation:

Sunday    closed

Monday  –  8 a.m. - 5 p.m.

Tuesday  –  8 a.m. - 5 p.m.

Wednesday    8 a.m. - 5 p.m.

Thursday  –  8 a.m. - 5 p.m.

Friday  –  8 a.m. - 3 p.m.

Saturday  –  closed

Warden: Sheila Farmer
Assistant:  Michelle Mote
In-house veterinarian:  Dr. Lester Thompson

DOGS
Big to little, most these dogs will make wonderful lifelong companions when you take them home and provide solid, steady training, grooming and general care. Get educated about what you choose. If you give them the time and care they need, you will be rewarded with much more than you gave them. They are entertaining, fun, comforting, and will lift you up for days on end.

Be prepared to take the necessary time when you bring home a puppy, kitten, dog, cat or any other pet, and you will be blessed.

[Logan County Animal Control is thankful for pet supplies donated by individuals and Wal-Mart.]  


[Roly-polies -- eight fat, tender little ones. They cry like you just beat them if you look at them wrong. These pups will make sweet, playful medium-size dogs. While their mother is an energetic, affectionate brindle pit bull, it is merely speculated that their father is Shar-Pei (at least one of their fathers). Being only 4 weeks old, they are not ready to go to homes yet, but it's a good time to get your name on one of them.]

There are a variety of other dogs available for adoption right now also.

 

Ten reasons to adopt a shelter dog

 1.  I'll bring out your playful side!

 2.  I'll lend an ear to your troubles.

 3.   I'll keep you fit and trim.

 4.   We'll look out for each other.

 5.   We'll sniff out fun together!

 6.   I'll keep you right on schedule.

 7.   I'll love you with all my heart.

 8.   We'll have a tail-waggin' good time!

 9.   We'll snuggle on a quiet evening.

10.   We'll be best friends always.

ABE LINCOLN

PHARMACY

Just inside the ALMH front door

Jim White, R.Ph.

"We Answer Your Medication Questions."

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CATS

[Logan County Animal Control is thankful for pet supplies donated by individuals and Wal-Mart.]  

In the cat section there are a number of wonderful cats to choose from. There are a variety of colors and sizes.
Sweet family
[An entire family is available by the individual or as a whole. Mom (2 years) is a petite female tiger stripe. Dad (3 years) is the uncommon, pure-white tom. They have six little ones just 2 weeks old. There are two white males, three white females and one tiger female. The kittens will be ready to go in a few weeks.]
 

 


Young Calico
[New in: pretty female calico only 10 weeks old.]

Golden Fella
[Lots of fluff and tender eyes make this golden male attractive. An excellent friendly companion for someone who wants only one cat. Already declawed and neutered, he's easy on the budget too.]

Sophisticated Bangle
[Want to hear all about it? This gal will talk it all over with you. Well known for their talking, this pure bred Bangle is only 11 months old. Summer is an excellent conversationalist; an avid listener understanding English and speaking fluent Catese. She's energetic, friendly, and she's already declawed.]
  

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