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Stop! Think! Talk! The fine art
of sibling relationships

[JULY 13, 2002]  URBANA — Sibling rivalry is as old as the hills. Going way back to Cain and Abel, the siblings fought to biblical proportions. But disagreements between siblings don’t necessarily have to be a negative part of life, according to Laurie Kramer, University of Illinois clinical psychologist.

Kramer sees these squabbles as a golden opportunity for children to learn how to manage conflict. "It’s a chance for children to learn to deal with negative emotions, such as anger and frustration, in a safe environment," said Kramer. "Conflict can also help children to define their beliefs. It helps foster the development of one’s sense of self."

Through a research and outreach program, "Fun with Brothers and Sisters," Kramer found that with instruction, modeling, role-playing and positive feedback, young children can be taught social skills that facilitate healthy sibling relationships. These children can then go on to use the skills in relationships outside the home.

In the study, 4- to 6-year-old children with younger siblings were taught six important relationship skills. In a laboratory setting, with their parents watching out of sight, the children learned how to invite their siblings to play, how to accept an invitation to play and how to turn down an invitation. They also were exposed to simple strategies for

"perspective-taking" (considering the other’s point of view), handling frustration and negotiating conflicts.

 

"As they played and conflict arose, the children learned to verbalize their angry feelings instead of enacting them," said Kramer. "And they developed strategies to manage conflict that combined skills in communication, perspective-taking, emotional control and problem-solving. These skills helped them respond to conflict situations constructively and without aggression."

The children were given instruction, but in addition, toys and dolls were used to model appropriate behavior. Then they had hands-on opportunities to try out these new skills in role-playing games in which each child took turns pretending to be the older or younger sibling.

 

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The instructors used large signs to serve as visual clues, helping the children avoid impulsive behavior. One sign indicated "stop," another triggered them to "think" and the third to "talk." Finally, the children received positive feedback as they attempted these newly learned skills.

"After four sessions in the laboratory, a final session was held in the children’s home to encourage the use of conflict-management skills in their own environment," said Kramer.

These children, when compared with those who merely received instruction through discussion, books and videotapes, were more likely to respond positively to their brothers’ or sisters’ requests to play and to consider their siblings’ point of view. Parents noticed improvements in their children’s relationships and reported that their older children were also using the new social skills with their friends.

"These techniques may be useful for parents," said Kramer. "When the inevitable conflict arises, parents can encourage children to stop, think about their siblings’ perspective and talk things through."

"Learning how to get along with brothers and sisters can contribute to children’s social skills for better or for worse," said Kramer. "Highly divisive sibling relationships can be predictive of later problems, such as anti-social and disturbed behaviors in adolescence. On the other hand, healthy relationships with siblings, where conflict is well-managed, can last a lifetime and can enhance a child’s social competence in the world."

[U of I news release]


Animals for Adoption

Free Lab pups, seven black and one golden. Beautiful, 6 weeks old, well-handled by children and have great dispositions. Call (217) 445-3032.


At Logan County Animal Control — 
DOGS
Big to little, most of these dogs will make wonderful lifelong companions when you take them home and provide solid, steady training, grooming and general care. Get educated about what you choose. If you give them the time and care they need, you will be rewarded with much more than you gave them. They are entertaining, fun, comforting, and will lift you up for days on end.

Be prepared to take the necessary time when you bring home a puppy, kitten, dog, cat or any other pet, and you will be blessed.

[Logan County Animal Control is thankful for pet supplies donated by individuals and Wal-Mart.]  

Warden Sheila Farmer and her assistant, Polly Farmer,
look forward to assisting you.

 


[A friendly-faced 2-year-old male mixed Lab is seeking his human soul mate.
He's not fixed, and he's good with other dogs.]


[A purebred Doberman with a sweet disposition, this handsome 1˝-year-old male is good with children and other dogs. His ears are cropped; he is not fixed.]

[Yes, I have a purple tongue!
That's because I'm a black Labrador and chow chow mix. I'm male and just 1 year old. I'm not fixed, and I would make a great farm dog.]
 


[Glory is looking for a quiet home where she can get some TLC. She likes kids. An American bulldog, she is 7 years old and has not been fixed.]

Celebrating American Theatre

Lincoln Community Theatre

presents

Dearly Departed

July 12-20
Johnston Center
for the Performing Arts

for ticket information, call 732-2640
or
click here: http://www.geocities.com/
lincolncommunitytheatre

Want your ad to be seen all over Logan County?

Advertise with

Lincoln Daily News!

Call (217) 732-7443
or e-mail
ads@lincolndailynews.com 

Our staff offers more than 25 years of experience in the automotive industry.

Greyhound Lube

At the corner of Woodlawn and Business 55

No Appointments Necessary

Ten reasons to adopt a shelter dog

 1.  I'll bring out your playful side!

 2.  I'll lend an ear to your troubles.

 3.   I'll keep you fit and trim.

 4.   We'll look out for each other.

 5.   We'll sniff out fun together!

 6.   I'll keep you right on schedule.

 7.   I'll love you with all my heart.

 8.   We'll have a tail-waggin' good time!

 9.   We'll snuggle on a quiet evening.

10.   We'll be best friends always.


CATS
[Logan County Animal Control is thankful for pet supplies donated by individuals and Wal-Mart.]  

Warden Sheila Farmer and her assistant, Polly Farmer, look forward to assisting you.

In the cat section there are a number of wonderful cats to choose from
in a variety of colors and sizes.

Farm cats available for free!


[This lovely lady with green eyes is Bailey. She is 3 years old and has been spayed and declawed. She would love a new home full of love.]
 


[This soft-faced 1-year-old male kitty needs a cat lover's care. He has not been fixed but has been declawed.]


These animals and more are available to good homes from the Logan County Animal Control at 1515 N. Kickapoo, phone 735-3232.

Fees for animal adoption: dogs, $60/male, $65/female; cats, $35/male, $44/female. The fees include neutering and spaying.

Logan County Animal Control's hours of operation:

Sunday    closed

Monday  –  8 a.m. - 5 p.m.

Tuesday  –  8 a.m. - 5 p.m.

Wednesday    8 a.m. - 5 p.m.

Thursday  –  8 a.m. - 5 p.m.

Friday  –  8 a.m. - 3 p.m.

Saturday  –  closed

Warden: Sheila Farmer
Assistant:  Polly Farmer
In-house veterinarian:  Dr. Lester Thomson



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