Slim Randles'  Home Country

'Hot enough for you?'         

[AUG. 13, 2005]  You can tell you're in a hot spell when the family canary starts to sweat, and we've sure had a canary sweater going on for a while now. If it clobbers up and promises rain, that just means it's going to be hot and humid for a while.

Miller Pond has been the most popular place in this part of the world recently, with people soaking in the water who really shouldn't be allowed in public in bathing suits. But with the heat, there has come a moratorium on good taste, and we all keep cool the best we can. The swimming hole in Lewis Creek is full each day before the sun even reaches lunchtime.

"I swear," said Doc the other day. It was coffee time, but he was sipping iced tea. "I swear to you here and now, if I hear one more person say, 'Hot enough for you?' I'll belt him!"

Dud walked in. "Hey, guys, is it hot enough for ya?"

"You want to kill him or should I?" Doc asked. "I'd do it myself, but it's too hot to move."

I was too busy sticking to my seat at the Mule Barn truck stop's philosophy counter and world dilemma think tank to get up and do anything about it, so Dud got a pass this time.

"Wonder what people did before they had air conditioning," Dud said. "Couldn't have been fun."

"Mountains," Doc said. "Or they went to the seashore. Or they worked outdoors at night."

"Ever fry an egg on the sidewalk?" Dud asked. "I tried it once, but it wasn't hot enough. I was a kid then and just got in trouble with Mom for wasting an egg."

"You know," said Doc, "I'll bet you could fry an egg on some dark metal, though. The dark color absorbs the heat and makes it hotter than the sidewalk would get. Let's get Mavis to give us an egg, and we'll go try it on Dud's blue pickup."

"Let's think about it first," Dud said, laughing. "Saw a lizard carrying a canteen the other day. He wasn't sharing, either."

"You been over to the Mexican cafe lately?" Doc said. "Ol' Gilbert down there must be about as hot as the rest of us. He put up a new sign. It says, 'No Shirt, No Shoes, No Problem.'"

We laughed. "Now you know we're in a hot spell."

[Slim Randles]

For more of Slim's writing, visit www.slimrandles.com.