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Add this week's column to
the list of shows that describe really unique stuff, because in the
world of inventions, you get to see some things every once in a
while that make you ask, "What were they thinking?" If you use your
imagination, you will be able to picture how these inventions might
look.
First is the "Dog-Shaped Vacuum Cleaner." According to the patent
description, the dog-shaped vacuum cleaner is the shape of a toy dog
and has a hollow interior that contains a vacuum cleaner. The
suction hose comes out through the dog's tail.
And just what would be the purpose of this invention? It enables
a person to vacuum a dog's hair after a haircut without scaring the
dog, since most dogs are scared of vacuum cleaners. But wait --
there's more. The vacuum cleaner also converts into a hair dryer.
OK, now I want to buy one.
Staying on the dog theme, someone patented a "Scuba Device for
Dogs." For those scuba trips when you just have to have your dog
with you, this device allows dogs to breathe underwater. It gets
better, though, as it also includes a microphone and speaker so you
can talk to your dog and, I assume, so the dog can respond. I'm not
sure if it was the dog or the owner who dreamed up this invention.
Then there's the work of British inventor Paul Pedrick during his
heyday in the 1960s and 1970s. Pedrick never let the pesky little
question of whether the invention would work get in the way of his
inventing. Or, better yet, whether it might become a successful
product that people would want to buy. Like the inventions that Rube
Goldberg drew, Paul's inventions were never meant for commercial
use. In fact, not any of his 162 patents were commercialized.
His inventions included a "Method of Irrigating the Australian
Desert" -- by piping snow and ice balls all the way from Antarctica!
His motive was to end world hunger.
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Oftentimes an inventor will design products that are related to his other
inventions. Pedrick was no exception, as he also devised a "Method of
Irrigating the Sahara Desert" by piping fresh water from the Amazon
River. I wasn't a geography major in college, but I know that the Sahara
Desert is in Africa while the Amazon River is in South America, and
getting water from one continent to another isn't easy. How would he
accomplish this? By sinking a gigantic tube 200 feet below the ocean's
surface!
Another of his well-meaning inventions was his "Method of Ending
the Cold War." It would require the United Nations to place three
nuclear bombs on satellites above the Earth's atmosphere. If one of
the satellites detected that either the U.S., Russia or China had
bombed any of the other countries, then Pedrick's invention would
automatically drop a nuclear bomb on all three countries. It was
meant as a deterrent. Hey, the Cold War is over, so it must have
worked, right?
Call him a dreamer, but at least he dreamed big!
Here's something else to think about… Just as we laugh at these
inventions, there were people who laughed at the inventors of the
telephone, the telegraph and the television when they were first
introduced to the public. But I digress.
Each of the five patents mentioned in this story received a
patent. How?
In order to be granted a patent, an invention must meet three
criteria. It must be new, it must be "unobvious" to people in that
particular industry, and it must be useful. There's nothing in the
rulebook that says that people must be willing to buy the inventions
once they hit the market.
[Paul Niemann]
Paul Niemann may be reached at
niemann7@aol.com.
© Paul Niemann 2005
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