"You suppose," said Bert, watching Willoughby's van pull into town,
"he sells all of it each time and fills everyone's orders, or just
doesn't sell any of it and has to try new things?"
If we were to
ask him, of course, it would ruin speculation, which is one of our
favorite things to do around here. Willoughby, despite his advancing
years, leaped out of the van and went into the Soup 'R Market to see
Annette. Naturally, we followed.
"Say," Doc said, as we crossed the street, "wasn't Willoughby's
hair brown the last time he was here? It's black today."
"I believe you're right," Bert said.
Coal black. We could see that as we came in and bought sodas.
Shoe polish, I think.
We settled back against the pop machine and prepared to enjoy the
"Whatcha got, Willoughby?"
"The latest and greatest thing going, Annette. You know how you
can't get fresh seafood here because of the distance, right? Well,
now there's Simulated brand Seafood -- all the flavor of the briny
deep without any of the delicacy that makes it go bad on you."
[to top of second
"Just as good as the real thing. Yes, ma'am, I have Simulated
Swordfish Steaks, Slightly Sea Bass, Faux Flounder, Kinda Crab and
our number one seller this week -- you ready for this? -- ta-DAH...
"I don't know, Willoughby..."
He sparkled right up to the challenge. We sipped on those pops.
This beat anything on TV.
"Now we have simulated seafood, with a shelf life that will keep
all your customers happy for as long as they want to hang onto
Annette said no to Willoughby, sending him on down the road to
greener pastures. It's just as well. I'm holding out for Prit-Near
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