Slim Randles'  Home Country

From war grounds to the coffee counter, 'The best defense is a good offense'

[JULY 22, 2006]  ^"Daisy cutters are the answer," said Doc. "Got to use more daisy cutters if we're going to finish fighting and bring our soldiers home. Those daisy cutter bombs will wipe out the best part of a square block."

"You guys are about half bloodthirsty this morning," Loretta said, refilling our cups at the counter.

"No sense in doing a job halfway," Dud said. "Inflict maximum damage with minimum loss to our guys. Only thing that makes sense."

"Nuke 'em," said Orville, down at the end of the counter.

"Naw, don't want to do that," said Doc, "but those daisy cutters…"

"You really like them, don't you?"

Doc looked at Steve. "I don't think anyone likes them, including the guys who drop them. They're just a tool. A big, dangerous and efficient tool to use until we can figure out how to make things right."

Bert shook his head. Of us all at the philosophy counter and world dilemma think tank, Bert is the one who reads the science magazines. He keeps his finger pretty much on the pulse of all things new.

"Nuke 'em," said Orville, again.

"It's time to forget the old-fashioned methods of warfare," Bert said. "All that killing and blowing buildings up. What we need is something that stops their aggression without killing them or knocking down their houses. They're really close to having it, too."

"What's that?" said Doc.

"The M-bomb," Bert said. "M is for mental. This bomb goes off, and instead of killing people, there's a substance inside that gets on the wind, and anyone downwind from it goes nuts. You know, like they're harmless now and can't hurt anyone else, but just run around babbling."

"Run around babbling?" Doc said. "Are you just making this up, Bert?"

"Of course not. I read about it on the Internet."

"Does it make a noise when it explodes?" Loretta asked.

"I don't know. Why?"

"Because I didn't hear any loud noises when the M-bomb hit this counter."

[Slim Randles]

Brought to you by the novel "Sun Dog Days," available at www.slimrandles.com.

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