|
Slim Randles' Home Country
When common sense should dictate
Send a link to a friend
[August 18, 2007]
There's something about the freedom of a motorcycle
ride... the wind blowing through your hair, passing mere cars at
light speed, mosquitoes splattered against your grin. I guess that
was why. |
 But why would ol' Dingle let Dewey take his motorcycle out for a
spin?"Hey, I was right there," Dingle said later. "I told him not
to go past the neighbor's mailbox, and I'd shown him how to run the
thing. It's not like he wasn't supervised."
But Dewey?
The problem is, Dewey has... occurrences. A Dewey Occurrence (and
the capitalization is on purpose here) normally consists of
something so out of the ordinary happening to him that it would be
virtually impossible to happen to someone else. Like the time he got
his father's pickup truck stuck in the mud. During a drought. In the
only mud puddle in the county. Or when he flipped the tank truck
full of bacon grease. On the interstate.
[to top of second
column]
 |
If Dewey drove a car in the Indianapolis 500, it would be hit...
by a meteor. If Dewey took the podium to conduct the high school
band on the football field at halftime, the podium would disappear
into quicksand. If Dewey had been a soldier in World War II, we'd
all be speaking German.
So allowing Dewey to ride a motorcycle -- even as far as the
neighbor's mailbox -- comes perilously close to being a crime
against humanity.
You don't really think of accidents happening at less than 5 mph.
Not usually. But I understand Dingle's motorcycle can be fixed,
Dewey only has to wear the cast for six weeks, and the neighbor was
tired of that mailbox anyway. The nurse down at the emergency room
said she calls them "donorcycles."
[Text from file received from Slim Randles]
Brought to you by "Ol' Slim's Views from the Porch," available
at www.unmpress.com.
|
