 In fact, I have never met a sixth-grader who said they had lots of
friends, no one ever picked on them and the homework was a breeze.
If we ever do find one who has no gripe with sixth grade, we need to
recruit that child to teach the rest of them survival techniques.
He could teach a new-sixth grader how to deal with a bully who calls
him a word I can't print here. He could teach the newbie how to
suppress the extremely strong urge to show the creep a little of his
own newly acquired testosterone by way of a strategically aimed
fist. He needs to suppress this urge because if he reacts the way
nature intended him to, he will be suspended from school. For some
kids, this might be considered a good thing. For my son, nothing
could be worse. He is one of those rare students who enjoy learning,
even if the method employed for learning (public school) is not his
favorite.
So he controls his words and his actions while this bully goes
around running off his potty mouth and saying any hurtful thing that
comes into his very small brain. No one can stop him because there's
no rule against saying nasty things.
How does an 11-year-old deal with issues that can't be dealt with
by much older and more experienced people on a global level? The
problems my son faces in sixth grade are the same ones we face as a
nation today. Everyone has a different way to "solve" or "ignore"
the problem. But the problem still exists no matter which method you
choose.
While I was writing this, I got a mental picture of an
11-year-old "America" sitting in a sandbox with an 11-year-old
terrorist. The terrorist keeps throwing sand in America's face, and
the only thing America is allowed to do is go home and cry on his
mother's shoulders because the "rules" say that he's not allowed to
give the bully what he truly deserves or he'll never be allowed in
the sandbox again. So the terrorist reigns in the sandbox until one
day America shows up at the playground equipped with a helmet,
kneepads and a Super Soaker. That's the last time the terrorist
throws sand. He may not like it. He may hold a grudge, but he likes
the Super Soaker even less, and grudges never hurt anyone.
[to top of second column] |
 Yeah, America could offer the terrorist a piece of candy and try
to make friends with him. But just because you give a bully candy,
that doesn't make him your friend. They are only waiting for the day
you come to the sandbox without any candy. Why waste all your candy
on one who doesn't appreciate it?
There is only one method of discipline that bullies understand,
and that seems to be the method that is globally unacceptable. So
the bullies, because of our own reticence and rules about what is
acceptable and what is not, will continue to get bolder and more
unruly until they finally do harm to someone. Bullies don't stop
throwing sand just because you ask them to. In an ideal world that
might work, but when my son asks a bully to stop calling him names,
the bully does not stop. He is amused and calls him even worse
names.
For my young sixth-grader, I can only soothe his frustration by
letting him know that because that bully is obviously dumb as a
stump, my son can look forward to being his boss one day. That might
be the best revenge of all.
Until then we're considering getting him a Super Soaker.
[Text from file received from Laura
Snyder]
You can reach the writer at
lsnyder@lauraonlife.com. Or visit
www.lauraonlife.com for
more columns and info about her new book.
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