Since I didn't personally know any fairies, or even people, who
collected teeth for a living, I figured that the tooth fairy must
come from a far-away foreign country. In my young mind, setting up a
guest room for her was the only hospitable thing to do.
However, my mother told me that we didn't have a spare bedroom. I
offered to let the tooth fairy use my bedroom and I would sleep on
the floor, but my mother wouldn't hear of it. I was willing to do
such a drastic thing because I was afraid that the tooth fairy, a
very important source of cash for a 7-year-old, would decide that
the trip was not worth it, and she wouldn't come on the night that
my tooth was under my pillow.
Besides, I thought that if she actually lived in my room, she'd
be inclined to leave more than a quarter under my pillow when my
teeth fell out. Or maybe she'd accidentally leave some cash behind
when she left. My mother was pretty unreasonable about my perfect
plan, though, so it never happened.
Nowadays, the tooth fairy seems to be pretty arbitrary about what
kind of coinage she leaves under kids' pillows. My children have
come home with stories of their friends finding a $5 bill under
their pillow. I figure she simply didn't have change for a five.
My children generally find one of those gold Sacagawea dollar
coins under their pillow, so my kids think the tooth fairy lives
with a tribe of Native Americans. But they are a little hurt to
think that she might favor one of their friends over them. (If she
had lived in my bedroom, Mom, my children would be getting those $5
[to top of second column]
My son, who is 10 years old, prefers to save his teeth in a
little box rather than giving them to some creepy fairy who sneaks
into his bedroom in the middle of the night. Even the thought of a
certain cash windfall is not enough to sway him. So although he
misses out on those golden coins, he comforts himself by thinking
that at least he won't be the victim if the tooth fairy suddenly
goes berserk. I guess that possibility always exists when we're
talking about a person whose sole purpose in life is to collect
other people's teeth.
There is a price to pay for his reticence, however. For the last
two years he has had a buck-toothed, Bugs Bunny-with-glasses sort of
look on his face because the two teeth on either side of his very
prominent front teeth have refused to grow in. We even had X-rays
taken to find out if they were still in there somewhere. They were,
but they were certainly taking their time about showing themselves.
Coincidently, the tooth fairy hasn't had to make a trip to our
house for the last two years, until a couple of days ago, when my
daughter's tooth fell out. The very next day, my son's teeth finally
made an appearance on either side of his Bugs Bunny teeth.
I don't think it's a stretch to think that the tooth fairy might
have been mad at him for not handing over his teeth via the
underside of his pillow. So in a way, my son became the victim of
tooth fairy vengeance anyway. At least… that's what he thinks.
[Text from file received from Laura
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