 Our home, to some people, sounds chaotic because they never hear the
rest of the story. There are 24 hours in a day and 168 hours in a
week. What I write about is merely a snapshot in a week of fairly
normal family activity.That being said, the answer to your
question is yes, it is as chaotic as it sounds, but only for short,
inconsecutive moments in time. Here are some snapshots that happened
this week:
___
I was watching my children while they were swimming when I heard
my 6-year-old yell at my 11-year-old because he was splashing him.
"Stop! I'm having some private moments here!"
The older boy was so stunned at that statement coming from a
first-grader that he turned to me for an interpretation.
"Mom, you speak Six-Year-Old; what is he talking about?"
"I think it means he's peeing in the pool, and if he is, he's
going to have some private moments in his room," I said
threateningly.
Private moments? Where did that come from? I didn't even know
those two words were in his vocabulary. I found myself wondering,
"Who are you and what have you done with my kid?"
To quote Art Linkletter, sometimes "kids say the darnedest
things." To update that ancient comment, you may quote me: "Kids are
always spouting some kind of drivel."
___
Yesterday, while I was busy reading my e-mail, totally detached
from the rest of the world, the youngest child sneezed three times
... and then immediately burst into tears. I thought that since he's
at that awkward age where his forehead is the same height as all the
doorknobs in the house, maybe he'd smacked his head on one when he
sneezed. I went to comfort him.
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 "Nobody 'bless you'-ed me!" he sobbed. I looked at him in shock.
Feeling very guilty about my massive maternal failure, I quickly
tried to make amends by saying, "Bless you, bless you, bless you!"
"It's too late!" he wailed, as if there was no hope for him now.
And so I did what any mother charged with such a terrible
transgression would do. I offered him a cookie. The crying stopped.
Cookies are magical. They can mend any hurt and assuage any guilt
as well as staving off the "hungries" until dinnertime.
___
As I was driving to the grocery store with three kids in tow
(well, actually they were in the back seat), I overheard their
conversation, discussing animals and trying to make animal sounds.
My daughter proudly told her brothers, "I can talk to dolphins,
you know."
Her older brother was skeptical, but the younger one was clearly
impressed.
"You can? Really?" he asked, in awe.
Head held high, she said, "Yep ... only they can't understand
what I'm saying and I can't understand them."
As a parent, I know the feeling.
[By LAURA SNYDER]
You can reach the writer at
lsnyder@lauraonlife.com
Or visit www.lauraonlife.com
for more columns and info about her books.
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