 I absolutely hate being awakened suddenly when there isn't some
really good reason. So if the house isn't burning down and there
isn't a hunky movie star knocking on my door, I just want to be left
to wake up naturally.I try to have the same sensitivity when I
wake up my children for school. Like me, if they are awakened rudely
or suddenly, they may be awake, but they are growling like a pack of
bears all morning. It doesn't make for a good start to the day.
My husband, who needs exactly 40 winks of sleep every night and
is up at the crack of 3 or 4 o'clock in the morning (which is before
dawn, I believe, though I've not had many opportunities to test that
theory) thinks that the children are best aroused by turning on
their lights and yelling, "Get up, sleepyheads!" at the top of his
lungs. Blasting light into their sleepy eyes and an explosion of
sound into their little ears certainly does wake them up, but at
what price?
My children love the way I wake them up, but they tend to take
advantage of it. Like every other kid, if you give them an inch,
they want a day off school.
If I manage to get to them before my husband does, I'll rub their
back or tickle their nose and toes. Sometimes a stuffed animal is
employed to do the tickling. They wake up with a smile on their
face, but as soon as they realize it's a school day, they start
negotiating a day off.
"I don't feel good, mom."
"You were just laughing when I tickled your nose."
"I know, but I think I'm getting ammonia."
"That's pneumonia, but trust me, you don't have it."
[to top of second column]
 |
 Undaunted, the negotiations continue. "I think I might have a
fever. Can you feel my head?"
"Well, that would be bad if you did, because there are doughnuts
for breakfast, and I don't think the other kids are going to save
one for you if you're sick."
That's called bait.
But what if there are no doughnuts? I have whole list of bait up my
sleeves:
-
It's your day for
show and tell!
-
There's a party at
school today!
-
There's a brand-new
box of cereal, and nobody has claimed the prize inside it yet!
-
Don't you want to
wear your new sneakers to school today?
-
I bought new
toothpaste and it's bubble gum-flavored!
-
Guess what? It
snowed last night!
-
I heard the teacher
say you're going to paint today!
-
It's silly hat day!
-
Connor's bringing
his gerbil to school today, remember?
These are bait. You might think that the kids wouldn't get up if
I had no bait. Not true. If, for some reason, I have no bait, I
simply stay in bed an extra 10 minutes and wait until my husband
comes in, flips on the light and yells, "Get up, sleepyhead!"
[By LAURA SNYDER]
You can reach the writer at
lsnyder@lauraonlife.com
Or visit www.lauraonlife.com
for more columns and info about her books.
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