 One of the components of a good persuasive speech is logic. However,
that's only if you're speaking to rational people. Obviously, logic
doesn't work on a 4-year-old who doesn't want to eat his vegetables.
"Now eat your vegetables, so that you will be healthy and strong."
Did that logic ever work for any parent?
The only thing that ever worked for me -- and it only worked a
couple of times -- is: "If you eat your carrots, you can have a
popsicle after dinner." However, this didn't work with peas,
broccoli or the one child who has had a lifelong hatred of anything
remotely healthy. Sometimes they would eat broccoli if I had them
imagine they were a giant eating a tree. After one tree, it was
usually decided that giants only eat cupcakes and people.
Peas could only be choked down with a cherry-flavored drink and
some threat that included an extended stay in a hard chair facing a
wall. Admittedly, I wasn't very good at enforcing those threats, so,
needless to say, I simply don't cook peas anymore.
So logic doesn't work for parents, but bribery, cajoling, threats
and capitulation only work slightly better.
Another component of a good persuasive speech is your audience's
opinion of you. You cannot persuade someone to do something if they
think you are manipulative, dress like a clown and smell like
yesterday's diapers.
OK, no. It's beginning to dawn on me why I can't persuade my
children to do anything. Their opinion of me is probably somewhere
between a Nazi interrogator and Gomer Pyle. You can see it in a
toddler's eyes even before she can talk. You know exactly the moment
your precious baby has decided you're a bonehead. She takes a deep
breath and suddenly you're covered in whatever you've just spooned
into her little mouth. Then they take their barely developed fine
motor skills and catapult the rest of their meal into your lap. "OK,
he doesn't like strained squash... I get it!"
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 This innate knowledge of their parents' incompetence is carried
with them and further exposed to us when they become teenagers and
it becomes harder for them to be so understanding of your
shortcomings. Especially when, odd as it may seem, you tell them
they have to pay for their own gas. You must be stupid because,
otherwise, you'd know that if they pay for their own gas, they won't
have enough money to pay for the things they want to buy.
Not getting them a cell phone is considered the ultimate in
parental ignorance: "OK, but won't you feel like an idiot when
someone abducts me and I can't call home?"
So, yeah, your child's opinion of you will not help to persuade
them to do anything.
Emotion is the third component in a good persuasive argument, but
you are not supposed to be emotional when dealing with children. You
are only supposed to respond to their emotions. According to today's
child-rearing experts, you're not supposed to get angry or let your
child see when you are sad. So how do you use emotion to persuade a
child?
I employ a hefty dose of guilt.
"Eat your vegetables. Think about all those starving children in
(fill in the country of choice)." No logic here.
"Take your time. If you're late for school again, your teacher
will get fired, the school will have to close, and then all those
kids without an education will have to work in a coal mine. They'll
get black lung disease and die with no insurance to support their
eight kids. Do you want to be responsible for that?"
When using a persuasive argument on children, not needing to use
logic can be very beneficial.
[By LAURA SNYDER]
You can reach the writer at
lsnyder@lauraonlife.com
Or visit www.lauraonlife.com
for more columns and info about her books. |
