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 But there were still some jokes to be found Tuesday.
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"Do you remember John Kerry? Neither do I. He ran for president, and didn't do that well. And now he is being criticized for telling a joke about John McCain wearing adult diapers. How dare you, sir! That is MY job. Knock it off, Kerry. I'll tell the McCain diaper jokes, you stick to losing elections to the least popular president ever in the history of America."
-- Craig Ferguson, CBS' "Late Late Show."
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ACORN (the Association of Community Organizations for Reform Now) "has conducted a huge voter registration effort, and not all the registrations are valid. Now I have a lot of problems with ACORN. First, they should have picked a more ominous name, like KAOS or SPECTRE, instead of squirrel food. Something really scary: They are the biggest nut-based threat to America since Mr. Peanut tried to assassinate the GOP elephant to impress the Morton's Salt girl."
-- Stephen Colbert, Comedy Central's "The Colbert Report."
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"People are saying that John McCain does not have a prayer. But I'm pretty sure the Lord is with him. Mostly because they used to be college roommates."
-- Colbert.
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"Obama's taking a day or two off from campaigning to visit his sick grandmother in Hawaii. ... Some people think that visiting his sick grandma might actually help him win more of the elderly vote. In fact, to try to counter that today, John McCain stopped by our nation's capital to visit his grandmother, Susan B. Anthony. ... Meanwhile, Sarah Palin had a good thought: She suggested that while Barack Obama is over in Hawaii, it might be a good idea for him to keep an eye on Japan."
-- Jimmy Kimmel, ABC's "Jimmy Kimmel Live!"
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ABC is owned by Walt Disney Co.; CBS is a division of CBS Corp.; Comedy Central is owned by Viacom Inc.
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On the Net:
http://lateshow.cbs.com/latenight/latelate/
http://www.colbertnation.com/home/
http://abc.go.com/
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