Thursday's late-night wrap-up of election jokes

[October 24, 2008]  NEW YORK (AP) -- Letterman, Leno and Conan were all off Thursday night, but Will Ferrell and Tina Fey were on. Quotes from their "SNL" appearance and other late-night election jokes from Thursday:

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"I come to you tonight in the midst of a very important election between two very qualified candidates: the hot lady and the Tiger Woods guy. Both candidates are heavily patriotized and display much characterization." -- Will Ferrell as President Bush, NBC's "SNL Thursday."

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"While campaigning for Barack Obama this week, Hillary Clinton said that the Democrats have a new slogan -- `Jobs, baby, jobs' -- while Bill Clinton is sticking with his slogan: `Please, baby, please.'" -- Amy Poehler, NBC's "SNL Thursday."

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"Gallup polled citizens of 70 countries and found that foreigners supported Obama over McCain by nearly four to one. It was an unusual poll, actually 30 percent supported Obama, eight percent supported McCain and the rest supported David Hasselhoff." -- Jimmy Kimmel, ABC's "Jimmy Kimmel Live."

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"Sarah Palin should look like this in every picture, like a brand-new, mint-condition porcelain doll. Because I think we can all agree, it is best if Sarah Palin is never taken out of the packaging." -- Stephen Colbert on airbrushed photo of Palin in People magazine, Comedy Central's "The Colbert Report."

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AND GETTING ATTENTION ON THE WEB:

Actor-turned-director Ron Howard endorsed Barack Obama in a video where he reprised his early roles in "The Andy Griffith Show" and "Happy Days." Complete with cameos from Andy Griffith and Henry Winkler, the video was posted at FunnyOrDie.com

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NBC is owned by General Electric Co.; ABC is owned by the Walt Disney Co.; Comedy Central is owned by Viacom Inc.

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On the Net:

http://www.nbc.com/

http://www.colbertnation.com/home/

http://abc.go.com/latenight/jimmykimmel/

http://www.funnyordie.com/

[Associated Press]

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