 So, dear reader, if you will indulge me, I will begin my therapy by
writing down my chaotic thoughts and perhaps, together, we can make
some sense of them.My 12-year-old is taking lessons for drums and
is hoping to do well in an important audition being held in a couple
weeks. He is hoping, praying and almost expecting to do well, in
spite of the fact that his sticks have not seen air time since his
last lesson. There's nothing like setting yourself up for
humiliation.
When I mention the word "practice," he acts like I'm speaking a
foreign language. So, I guess this is one of those times when a
parent has to sit on the sidelines and watch their offspring tank.
Experience is a harsh teacher, but sometimes it's the only one to
which kids will listen.
My youngest boy found a metal box where he can keep his "money
collection." He asked for a combination lock so that he could keep
his collection "safe." When I pulled into the driveway last night,
my headlights found his box, which contains about a dollar in
assorted change, mostly pennies. It apparently had been sitting
"safely" in the middle of the driveway all day long.
So, how do I instill in him the proper respect for his money
"collection"? A combination lock from the dollar store costs
... well,
a dollar. I had thought about having him buy a lock with his own
money so that he would place more value on it. But he's only
"collected" a dollar, which means that if he buys a lock for his
box, he will no longer have any money to keep safe.
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 Perhaps I'll simply screw the box to his dresser so he can't
leave it in places that most of us would not consider safe.
My daughter is trying to grow her bangs out. If I don't insist
that she use a barrette or hair band, she'll look like one of
those shaggy dogs that you could swear have no eyes. Why don't you
ever see those dogs running into trees and fire hydrants?
Well, we have gone through whole packages of barrettes, clips,
hair bands, rubber bands and alligator clips. Every morning we'll
put one of these accessories in my little girl's hair, and every
afternoon a shaggy dog comes home from school and the accessory is
nowhere to be found.
I thought about a hot glue gun, but I'm sure there is some kind
of law against that. In my less sane moments, shaving her head bald
seems like a good option, but then we'd have to start growing those
bangs all over again.
Picture day was last week. I wonder who will show up in those
pictures when I get them back: my daughter or a shaggy dog?
When you are a parent, there are so many difficult decisions to
make on a daily basis. Most of the time, it comes down to: Which is
the lesser of the two evils? Which reminds me of another difficult
decision: the presidential election...
Don't even get me started.
[By LAURA SNYDER]
You can reach the writer at
lsnyder@lauraonlife.com
Or visit www.lauraonlife.com
for more columns and info about her books.
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