Teachers are kind of like shepherds, herding their flocks toward
success. Like shepherds, teachers may come to know the individuality
of each member of their bleating flock, but in order to run an
efficient class, they cannot always treat them individually. So,
when a kid has a problem with the protocol, it's rare that they can
get a teacher to change it just for one student. So they will call
upon their only ally in such situations: their most sympathetic
parent.It is the parent's job to intervene on the child's behalf
if the situation calls for it. It is also their job to gently, but
firmly tell the child to "suck it up" occasionally. Sometimes,
though, it's difficult for the parent to interpret the severity of
the problem and deliver the correct response.
"Mom, can you pleeeease write a note to my teacher?"
"Why?"
"Because I don't want to sit where she told me to sit in the
lunchroom. The kids there are annoying me."
![Exterminator](http://archives.lincolndailynews.com/2008/Sep/13/images/ads/current/pest_control_bch033108.png)
"OK. Let's see..."
Dear Teacher,
My son doesn't want
to sit in his assigned seat in the lunchroom because he is annoyed.
No, scratch that.
"That excuse is not going to fly, Son. Why don't you want to sit
there?"
"Because they stink."
"That's not nice!"
"But they really stink, Mom -- like underarms -- and it's hard to
eat with that smell."
"Oh, that kind of stink."
I stared at the note, trying to figure out how to word it. I gave
up.
"Honey, I can't tell your teacher to move you because her other
students don't shower."
"But the boy sitting next to me talks funny and keeps spitting
into my food every time he says something."
![Exterminator](http://archives.lincolndailynews.com/2008/Sep/13/images/ads/current/pest_control_bch033108.png)
"Oh, that's gross!"
I consulted the unfinished note again.
"... because ...
because ... because one of your students has a seriously explosive
lisp."
[to top of second column] |
![Internet](http://archives.lincolndailynews.com/2008/Sep/13/images/ads/current/ccaonline_lda050208.png) No, no. I can't write that!
I wadded up the note and looked at my son.
"What else ya got?"
"Well, I keep getting elbowed while I'm trying to eat!"
"Now that's something! Physical abuse is not allowed in school!"
Dear Teacher,
Please move my
son's seat in the lunchroom. The boys next to him are assaulting him
while he eats.
My son read the note. "I didn't say they were assaulting me, Mom.
I don't think they did it on purpose or anything. They just jump
around a lot."
Hmmm. I ripped up the note and started again.
![Banks](http://archives.lincolndailynews.com/2008/Sep/13/images/ads/current/atlanta_nat_bank_bch-020108.png)
Dear Teacher,
Please move my
son's seat in the lunchroom because the boys sitting next to him
have a tendency to flail in random, spasmodic fits so as to cause my
son undue stress and possible indigestion.
I looked at the note. I looked at my son, who was smiling. I
slowly took the note, wadded it up and tossed it into the trash.
"Have you got any bruises?"
"No."
"A bloody nose?"
"Not yet."
"A fat lip?"
"No, but I'll probably get one if I stay there."
I looked at my son again, who had stopped smiling and hung his
head.
He said, "I know, Mom. Suck it up, right?"
"I'm afraid so, son. Because, unfortunately, your teacher's right
to seat you where she wants exceeds your right to an odorless,
slobber-free, non-stressful lunch."
[By LAURA SNYDER]
You can reach the writer at
lsnyder@lauraonlife.com
Or visit www.lauraonlife.com
for more columns and info about her books. |