 If my husband had not hurt his leg, and if the trip did not include
a six-mile walking tour of the zoo, it might have been fun ... for
him.My older son volunteered to chaperone in my husband's place,
and he probably would have had fun ... if he hadn't been called in
to work.
I might have had fun if the trip had not included an overnight
stay on a cement floor with 17 coed middle-schoolers, all in the
same room. Fun was not the word I would have used to describe the
feelings I had when said middle-schoolers insisted on making
hand-puppets on the ceiling with their flashlights until 2 in the
morning.
Before that, we had learned about all the different kinds of bats
and made bat houses so that we could harbor our very own family of
bats right in our own backyard. We learned that bats aren't really
blind, which wasn't very reassuring. I kind of liked the idea of
flying rodents not being able to see me.
When I was able to sleep for a few seconds, I dreamed about bats
in my belfry. Very not-blind bats.
We met an opossum named George. George was creepy. He looked like
Rat-zilla and had a set of teeth that could have belonged to a
Tyrannosaurus. Add to that the fact that they only roam at night
when you can't see them, and you've got a real live nightmare. I
could have skipped that bit of fun.
Of course, it's never fun to wake up at 7 a.m. on a good day, let
alone waking up with those same 17 sleep-deprived middle-schoolers.
We had breakfast and then proceeded to dissect owl pellets. I really
would have preferred to do that on an empty stomach, but my son was
fascinated by the pieces of rodent bone and fur that he dug out of
his owl regurgitation. Not fun. Definitely not fun.
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Next was the "tour" of the zoo. Did I mention that it was 35 degrees
and pouring rain? Does that sound like fun? If it does, you are
demented. Even the animals were smart enough to stay hidden on such
a day. In fact, from their little hidy-holes, they probably had a
great view of the insane humans wandering around in the freezing
rain. Said the baboon to the giraffe, "And they say humans have
evolved."
I looked like a giant Sponge Bob in my yellow plastic poncho over
layers of sweatshirts and jackets, all of which kept my torso
reasonably warm if not precisely dry. The poncho turned out to be
the perfect conduit to dump the buckets of rain directly into my
shoes, which made me feel as if I was walking around in an Alaskan
swamp all day. Yeah ... still not having fun.
The Sonoran Desert display? Now that was fun! It was an indoors
display. It was 80 degrees. It was dry. In fact, the Sonoran Desert
was the most popular place in the zoo that day and not because it
displayed the most skin-crawling animals in the world. I would have
gladly shared space with the tarantulas, snakes, lizards and
scorpions if they would have just let me stay.
The bone-chilling rain never let up, and so it was that I
commented to my son on the way out of the park, "Good thing we're
leaving or we might be required to start building an ark."
He replied, "Yeah, but at least we're in the right place to get
two of every animal."
Ever practical, I said, "Right! We could build it in the polar
bear pond. They're not out today because it's too cold."
[By LAURA SNYDER]
Laura Snyder is a syndicated columnist,
author and speaker. You can reach her at
lsnyder@lauraonlife.com.
Visit www.lauraonlife.com
for more info . |
