Laura on Life

Thumb typing

By Laura Snyder

[February 07, 2009]  I went into a Dairy Queen yesterday. There were two girls behind the counter and two sitting in a booth. They all had their communication devices out and were thumbing in messages at the speed of light. They each had a companion with them to actually speak to, but no, they'd rather communicate with someone who was not with them. That would be considered beyond rude before cell phones were manufactured. Of course, I am assuming that they weren't texting each other. That would be ridiculous, wouldn't it?

Texting has become the preferred communication tool for teenagers and 20-somethings and anyone else who doesn't have anything better to do.

My sister sent an e-mail with a comment she was apparently too tired to type out completely. She has three kids, so she has an excuse for using a foreign language in an e-mail. In response to a column I had sent her, she wrote "FOTFLOL." Well, I may be ignorant of texting code, but I know where to find the information when I need it: the Internet of course.

I found a site that lists all of the text messaging codes and I printed them out. The list was 17 pages long! Now, the teens and college students that I am familiar with would be hard-put to memorize the periodic table, capital cities of the United States or a grocery list. But that 17-page list of misspelled and abbreviated words they know better than their own name. How is this possible?

I browsed through the list. Some shortcuts were familiar -- ASAP, ETA, FYI -- but I knew I was being introduced to a foreign language when I read the first entry: A3. "A" to the third power apparently is a Generation Y intimidation factor that means "anytime, anywhere, anyplace," which could possibly be shortened to A2 because anywhere and anyplace can arguably be considered the same location.

I did not find my sister's FOTFLOL, which means she made it up and was trying to impress me, but I did find ROTFLOL: Rolling On The Floor Laughing Out Loud. This one not only gives me a good visual, but also probably means she thought my e-mail was humorous. I wrote back, "Thanx."

I found many other shortcuts for humor, though, all of which I was unfamiliar with: BMGWL, Busting My Gut With Laughter; CSG, Chuckle, Snicker, Grin; GMBO, Giggling My Butt Off; LSHMBB, Laughing So Hard My Belly is Bouncing; ROTFLUTS, Rolling On The Floor Laughing Unable To Speak -- but obviously able to thumb type; and of course, the familiar LOL, Laughing Out Loud, which, by the way, is also a shortcut for my column, Laura on Life.

Apparently, LOL also means Lots of Love. You'll want to be careful with this one. If the recipient had just sent a text that said, "ILUVU," LOL may not be the correct response. LOL could find you lacking an SO: Significant Other.

Here are a few more choice morsels:

ALIWANISU -- All I Want IS You (Why is "is" spelled out?)

AWHFY? -- Are We Having Fun Yet? (What is the point of punctuation?)

FONE -- Phone (It saves one letter, uses the silent "e," and encourages bad spelling -- Why?)

G2CU & G2SY -- Glad To See You (We are texting over a cell phone here, right?)

GSOH -- Good Salary, Own Home (This one could be better used in personal ads for e-Harmony.)

IMCO -- In My Considered Opinion (Who texts stuff like this?)

Msulkecrz -- miss you like crazy (Lowercase means you don't really mean it.)

M$ULKeCrZ -- Miss You Like Crazy! (Look at the effort put into this one, with multi-case letters and a dollar sign. Effort spells love!)

PDS -- Please Don't Shoot (For the life of me, I can't think of a single instance where this text message might be used.)

SNAFU -- Situation Normal, All Fouled Up (Kind of an oxymoron, and I don't think the "F" means Fouled.)

SNERT -- Snot-Nosed, Egotistical, Rude Teenager ("T" for teenager pretty much sums it up.)

SUAKM -- Shut Up And Kiss Me (Maybe I'm missing something here. We're texting, right? To someone who is presumably not within talking, much less kissing, distance?)

SWAK -- Sealed With A Kiss (Hey, I know this one! I wonder if they'd use it if they knew that it was coined by their grandparents?)

U+ME=LUV -- (Aww! How mushy!)

URHSTRY -- You Are History (If you receive this message, please be sure it wasn't just a typo before you start drinking the pain away.)

CUL8R ALIG8R N WHL CRCDL -- See You Later Alligator, In a While Crocodile (They're kidding, right?)

And my personal favorite: IC**WENUXME -- I See Stars When You Kiss Me.

This concludes your lesson in texting shortcuts. I hope that you have found it as enlightening and baffling as I have. BBFN! (Bye Bye For Now)

[By LAURA SNYDER]

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