 She had her yearly mammograms religiously, and no matter how many
times she had to go back to get a repeat one, only to find out that
the "spot" they found was just a benign cyst, she doggedly pursued
every suspicion.She and I share a gene that apparently collects
all kinds of stuff in our breasts as if they were a set of luggage.
So it is not uncommon for us to have repeat mammograms every year
because the doctor saw something odd in there.
"Mrs. Snyder, is that a clock radio in there, or a bomb? I'm
afraid you'll have to go through it again."
Well, that was the metal detector attendant at the airport, but
you know what I mean.
With all the amazing advances that have been made in medical
technology, you'd think that someone would have come up with a
screening technique that did not include smashing your mammaries
into a vice. I swear, I feel just like the Play-doh that a 6-year
old has just pushed through the spaghetti maker.
"Easy now! You cannot make pie crust with these, no matter how
thin you make them! For one thing, they are attached … at least they
are so far. Though, I'm not sure what kind of condition they'll be
in when you're done with them!"
"Now, now, Mrs. Snyder. Just stand very still and take a deep
breath."
"Should I count to 10 as well, you wacko! Because that's what I
do when I know I'm about to smack somebody! Guantanamo's got nothing
on this place!"
[to top of second column]
 |
So yeah, mammograms do not make it to my list of favorite things. In
fact, I have been known to blow off my mammogram appointments in
years past because of my If-It-Ain't-Broke-Don't-Try-To-Fix-It
attitude. However, it's just like my mom to put to the fear of God
in me in order to make me do something I don't want to do. It's the
only thing that's ever worked for me.
You can bet that I will be getting those mammograms every year
from now on. I will be going back repeatedly every time the doctor
sees a Volkswagen in there or a mosaic of the Virgin Mary done in
fibrous cysts. And I will even do my best to hold back a slug when
the technician tries to mold my boobs into wafer-thin pancakes. I
know now, that it's better than breast cancer.
If my mom had been as blase about her mammograms as I have been,
she'd be a dying woman right now, all of her choices taken away from
her.
Instead, she had a lumpectomy and some radiation and the cancer
is gone, answering the question my son asked years ago: "If you get
a hole in one of those, do they explode?"
The answer is no, of course. But if you don't get your
mammograms, you just might be a ticking time bomb.
[By LAURA SNYDER]
Laura Snyder is a nationally syndicated columnist,
author and speaker. You can reach her at
lsnyder@lauraonlife.com
or visit www.lauraonlife.com
for more info. |
