 Not long ago, my son's girlfriend asked me why I married my husband,
and I'll admit my answer was rather flippant. "He had a cute butt,"
I said. He did, but I'm sure that wasn't why I married him.She
pressed me though, and said, "No, really, why?" She was asking a
question I rarely ever think about now. It made me wonder why. She
and my son have been dating for about two years now, and although my
son has an annoying tendency to break into a song whenever the
conversation contains a lyrical string of words, she seems to
tolerate it well.
Perhaps she asked because my husband does the same thing and she
wonders whether a marriage can survive quirks like that.
Well, it got me thinking. Why did I marry this man? By all
measures, our dating days were not an ideal template to follow where
one could say it would lead straight to marital bliss.
I was a very sheltered, shy girl and he ... well, he started
drinking at age 15 when a beer truck crashed in his neighborhood.
When he asked me out, I took a few moments to answer, almost as if I
knew the answer would change my world.
It did. On our first date he took me to see Cheech and Chong's
"Up in Smoke." I was sitting in the theater, too shocked to speak.
He thought I was too quiet, so he dumped an entire bucket of popcorn
on me. So, no, that couldn't be why I married him.
I actually fell in love with him at the senior prom. He was so
handsome in his white tux, and his smile just turned my heart upside
down. He was not suave and debonair like the man I dreamed of
marrying when I was a little girl. Far from it. He drove me to the
prom in his beat-up pickup truck and wore his red Converse sneakers
with his tux because his shoes were too tight. Surely, that wasn't
why I married him either.
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 The man of my girlhood dreams was Clark Kent of the old Superman
series. The man I married could not race trains, or stop a speeding
bullet, or leap over tall buildings in a single bound. But he could
pound a beer without swallowing, win an arm wrestling contest with
just about anybody and stuff 35 whole peanuts into his mouth at one
time. Clark Kent he wasn't, but think of the potential!
The reason I married him wasn't because we got into a fight on my
graduation day and he drove away. But it might be because, in spite
of his anger, he came back and tried his best to make my day
special.
I'm fairly certain that I didn't marry him just because he
insisted on chocolate cake at our wedding reception or because he
wanted chicken wings served that day.
This was a man who would be a challenge to live with, I knew, but
I said "yes" anyway when he asked me to marry him.
"Why?" my son's girlfriend wanted to know.
Well... because he had a heart of pure gold. He hasn't touched a
beer in over 25 years. If he eats peanuts, it's usually one or two
at a time, and he shells them before they enter his mouth. The only
time he arm wrestles anyone is when his children challenge him, and
then he lets them win.
He is crazy and stubborn, sweet and sexy, loving and supportive.
He is steady as a rock, and I know I can absolutely depend on him
for anything.
Why did I marry him? The answer is simple. This man is my best
friend and I could not imagine living without him.
[By LAURA SNYDER]
Laura Snyder is a nationally syndicated columnist,
author and speaker. You can reach her at
lsnyder@lauraonlife.com
or visit www.lauraonlife.com
for more info. |
