 We dubbed this weapon "The Look." This weapon promised retribution
if we didn't respond to it, and it worked so well that I have
developed my own "Look" after many years of practice.For some
reason, kids think that it's OK to goof off when a parent isn't
watching. There is always one kid, however, who plays the Lookout.
In our case, it's my daughter.
Here's the scenario: We are at a gathering with lots of people. I
don't have time to follow my kids around and keep them out of the
punch bowl or prevent them from double-dipping, so I have to hope
that what I've already taught them will somehow be obeyed. At some
point, my children erupt into a spontaneous game of tag, running in
circles around the dessert table. I am across the room, but my
daughter is the Lookout and looks up from their mischief every five
seconds to see if I'm watching.
This means that she knows they are breaking a rule, but, hey, she
must run from whoever is chasing her. That's another kind of rule.
So it's not really her fault.
I hear the commotion from across the room. Catching my daughter's
eye, I give her "The Look." She stops in her tracks, the little one
plows right into her, and the older one takes one more lap around
the dessert table before he realizes nobody is running from him. My
daughter points to me and all eyes follow to intercept "The Look"
that I am still broadcasting to my errant flock. And ... my work is
done. They are temporarily cowed, and the dessert table will remain
upright for the foreseeable future.
Potent and powerful, no weapon in a mom's arsenal is as effective
as "The Look" -- even at a distance.
I have other "Looks" that my children have learned to interpret
as well. There is one that is guaranteed to make a little liar start
babbling excuses.
"Did you eat your broccoli?"
"Yeth."
*The Look*
[to top of second column]
 |
 "Well, I didn't exactly... The cat was hungry and ... so I gave
it..."
*The Look*
"Um... I saved it for later?"
*The Look*
"I accidentally..."
*The Look*
"I pushed it ... on the floor. Now I can't eat it, right?"
Of course, there are other Looks that simply convey my utter
bewilderment. Kids do that to a parent. No matter how much
experience one has, kids always confound you with astounding remarks
like:
"I just got awarded the Staff of Life and now I'm going to
conquer the world!"
I give him The Look to buy myself some time as I try to work
through this amazing statement.
So... he's excited about reaching puberty? No, no, that's not
really an event as much as it is a process. The Staff of Life, huh?
Ah, got it! A video game! That's the only realm where something
like this can reasonably occur. Wait a minute! It's not the weekend!
Video games are only to be played on the weekend. A rule has been
broken!
*The Look*
And this is where I spout one of those unreasonable remarks that
most parents are famous for:
"Staff of Life or not, you're going to have to wait until
Saturday to conquer the world."
[By LAURA SNYDER]
Laura Snyder is a nationally syndicated columnist,
author and speaker. You can reach her at
lsnyder@lauraonlife.com
or visit www.lauraonlife.com
for more info. |
