 Ignoring all the obvious inaccuracies with that statement, I decided
to address the sentiment instead."Why are you excited about
puberty?"
"Because that's when I'll find out if I have superpowers."
OK... That was another statement loaded with questions. I needed
to zero in on what he was really trying to say. As my mouth hung
open and I stared uncomprehendingly, I went through my options in my
head:
-
What superpower
would you like to have?
-
Why do you want a
superpower?
-
How do you know
you'll find out on "puberty day"?
-
Do you know what puberty is? And that
it takes more than a day?
What I settled on was, "Did you brush your teeth?"
I was presented with a mouthful of presumably clean teeth in an
exaggerated smile. Then he continued:
"If I have superpowers, I could pick up the bullies at school and
take them to the principal."
I said, "OK... That would certainly give you a great skill set,
but if you don't have superpowers now, why would you get them when
you are older?" ... because that's what one says in this situation.
"Well," he answered with all the logic of a 9-year-old, "all the
heroes in my comic books got their superpowers on puberty day and
Harry Potter did too."
At a serious loss for words, all I could utter is, "Is that
right?"
"Yeah, and Harry Potter got magic powers. That would be even
cooler! If the bullies got nasty, I could just take away all their
bones and they would be a big blob rolling on the floor. Then they
would have to go to the principal's office."
[to top of second column]
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 "Goodness! If you had superpowers and I made you mad, what would
you do?"
"I'd prob-ly just put you in a cage ... for a little while ...
maybe a couple of minutes. But I would never take away your bones!"
He looked very sincere about that last statement. I was slightly
relieved until I realized that he may have said that only because he
thought I might somehow be the key to getting his superpowers.
That is a mistake all superheroes make. They are usually
instrumental in giving their foes the powers that are then used
against them.
"You know, sometimes if you act as though the bully doesn't
bother you, they will leave you alone," I said. "Their words can
only hurt you if you allow them to hurt."
He looked doubtful, and who could blame him? That never worked
for me either.
"Another option is to let them know that you have some older
brothers that have already gone through puberty."
"Yeah, but they don't have superpowers," he said, as if this was
a major flaw.
"But your bullies don't know that."
"That's true. It might work until my puberty day."
"Hmmm. And when will that be?"
He shrugged and said, "Nobody knows ... it's a mystery."
"Um, about that..."
[By LAURA SNYDER]
Laura Snyder is a nationally syndicated columnist,
author and speaker. You can reach her at
lsnyder@lauraonlife.com
or visit www.lauraonlife.com
for more info.
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