 Why is it that my husband can
sleep in the middle of the day at the
drop of a hat, but he can't get a full night's sleep? He told me I
simply have to stop dropping hats, but I'm thinking hats don't have
anything to do with it.I remember long ago, when I was a child,
we used to go to Grandma and Grandpa's house for holiday dinners.
Grandma would work all day long, cooking the meal, tidying up,
setting the table and even washing the dishes afterward.
Yet, it was Grandpa who would fall asleep in the La-Z-Boy after
the meal. It must've been truly exhausting for him to watch Grandma
work her tail off.
My husband and I are showing signs of this trend continuing in
the 21st century.
One of the factors here could be my own vanity. When I cook a
meal, I want it to turn out perfect for my guests. Because I am not
the best cook in the world, this takes some real effort on my part
and the kind of precise planning that is somewhat difficult for me
and completely foreign to my husband. When he comes into the kitchen
and starts poking around, he doesn't really want to help out. He
simply wants to see what can be eaten before the meal is served. In
actuality, he is screwing up all my careful planning. So I shoo him
out before he unbalances my perfectly arranged pickle tray.
There is plenty that he could do, but nothing he really wants to
do right. The right way, by the way, is always my way. I call him in
when it's time to cut the meat because that is a job he wants to do
right. In all honesty, though, if I'd let him cut it with a chain
saw, he would.
After dinner he makes sure he loads at least one upside-down cup
and one plate with meat chunks still on it into the dishwasher,
totally ignoring the laws of physics and dishwasher mechanics, so
that I'll shoo him out again to entertain our guests.
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 It is truly amazing that this man can function outside of our
home.
Then, instead of entertaining our guests, he, and every male
guest older than 18, will fall asleep where they are sitting, just
like Grandpa did.
I wonder if Grandma ever decided to take a much-needed nap? She
could have sat down in her matching La-Z-Boy, propped up her tired
feet and snored as loudly as Grandpa. They could have left a note
pinned on their clothes so their guests could read it:
"If we fall asleep (these things happen), please help yourself to
the leftovers and let yourselves out."
But no, for some reason, women are born with the knowledge that
it is rude to fall asleep when you have guests. Grandma always
toughed it out, stayed awake and entertained her guests over the
deafening roar of Grandpa's snores.
If the present day is any indication of history, I'm almost
certain that Grandpa thought the perfect ending to those "restful"
days was a romp in the hay with his wife. I'm just as certain that
when it came time for such things, Grandma fell exhausted into bed
and Grandpa was cursing the day he married his "frigid" wife.
Grandpa lived to be 72. Grandma lived to be 93.
[By LAURA SNYDER]
Laura Snyder is a nationally syndicated columnist,
author and speaker. You can reach her at
lsnyder@lauraonlife.com
or visit www.lauraonlife.com
for more info.
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