On the surface, men seem to have the toughest time with this. Should
he get her chocolate? If she's on a diet this week, she might never
forgive him for it. Is she on a diet? He doesn't remember.
about flowers? She's allergic to some flowers, he thinks, but which
ones? Flowers are lame anyway.
Maybe jewelry? What did he get her last year? That was so long
At some point, he's going to get hungry from doing all that
pondering and he will smile because he just had the greatest idea!
He will take her out for dinner! ... Wait. Maybe that is what he did
However, women are just as baffled as men. She loves him. She
wants to show him she cares on Valentine's Day. But what to get him?
Flowers are out for sure. His friends would pick on him. He'd love a
box of chocolates, but she's watching his weight because he
certainly won't do it.
Jewelry? For a man? Nope. He'd never wear it anyway. Or worse,
he'd wear and it would somehow get caught in the fan belt of his V8
Triton engine and then… he'd never wear it again.
She could make him a nice dinner, but chances are good that he
will be taking her out for dinner again this year.
Hallmark has made bazillions of dollars because of this
Valentine's Day enigma. Ever since an imaginary baby with a bow and
arrow shot you both with his pheromone-tipped projectile, a Hallmark
card has been the only "safe" way to express your feelings on
[to top of second column]
The problem with a Hallmark card on Valentine's Day is that it's
like the minimum amount due on a credit card statement. No matter
how heartfelt the sentiment, the card is the least that is expected
of you. At its best, it will merely smooth over any bloopers you
make with whatever it is you decide to do for your sweetheart on
If there were no such thing as Valentine's Day, we wouldn't be
under such pressure to deliver. If it was just another ordinary day
and you brought home flowers, she'd know you were thinking about
her, and it wouldn't really matter that you didn't remember which
flowers send her into anaphylactic shock. She'd probably forgive
When it's Valentine's Day it's different, though. In essence,
this holiday is designed to remind us deadbeats to do something
special for our loved ones because we are apparently too stupid to
remember without a huge, commercialized holiday with giant red and
pink hearts plastered everywhere to remind us. We might do something
special for each other nearly every day of the year, but Lord help
us if we forget on Valentine's Day, because, really… it's not
possible. Therefore, we must have forgotten on purpose.
I wish I could help you decide what to get your one and only for
Valentine's Day, but I'm as much in the dark as everyone else. The
only thing I can give you is a warning: If, through some strange
series of events, you don't see the very conspicuous pink and red
hearts everywhere and you forget Valentine's Day and come home
empty-handed on Feb. 14, the rest of February is going to be pretty
rough for you. March and April aren't looking too good either.
[By LAURA SNYDER]
Laura Snyder is a nationally syndicated columnist,
author and speaker. You can reach her at
or visit www.lauraonlife.com
for more info.