Slim Randles' Home Country

Advice for a die-hard winter hater

[February 20, 2010]  ^"I can't stand winter," said Herb Collins, who had dropped in at the Mule Barn's philosophy counter for a quick cup. "There's nothing to do."

"Get out and enjoy it," suggested Doc. "Go skiing. Go ice fishing. Build a snowman. Do something. Then you'll feel better."

"I don't think your advice will take," said Dud. "Herb seems to be intransigent on this one."

We all looked at Dud.

"You see, he said he couldn't stand winter," Dud continued, "which shows he has a proclivity for intransigence on that particular subject."

We looked at him some more.

"If he were to take up a winter hobby," he continued, "he could stop being intransigent and enjoy things more."

Even Herb was staring at him now.

"I usually," said Herb, "enjoy a proclivity in that direction, but winter is pretty boring, so maybe I really should be intransigent on this point."

"Well, Herb," said Dud, "even though you might have a proclivity this season for being intransigent on your attitude about winter, you could kinda ease up and consider a hobby. That way you'd be showing a proclivity for transigence."

"Transigence?" said Doc. "I thought those were people who lived under bridges. You might want to look that one up, Dud."

Dud blushed as we laughed.

"Say, Dud?" said Steve, the cowboy. "Wasn't proclivity last month's word?"

"Yes," said Dud, "and I believe I've used it a couple of dozen times already."

"And now this month's word is intransigence, right?"

Dud nodded.

"Well, then," said Doc, "it looks like you are going to have a proclivity for saying intransigence this month. That's a veritable plethora of proclivity, my friend."

Dud pulled out a pencil and grabbed a napkin.

"How do you spell it, Doc?"

"Spell what?"

"Plethora."

We just groaned. Sometimes education can be ugly.

[Text from file received from Slim Randles]

Brought to you by the soon-to-be-announced syndicated radio program "Home Country." We thought you should be warned.