I
 imagine that if I weren't a parent, I might feel that becoming one
would be the worst idea ever. Why would anyone put themselves
through all that? It takes time, money and really intense effort to
be a good parent. You worry about things you never used to worry
about.When you look for a house to live in, instead of
considering the proximity to your job, the closest sushi bar, and
whether or not it had a great view, you would be looking for at
least three bedrooms, plenty of closet space and a big yard with a
tree sturdy enough for a tire swing.
When you buy food, instead of experimenting with different exotic
fruits and vegetables and buying things that are good for your
waistline, you have to buy food that your child will at least try to
choke down. Essentials are peanut butter and jelly, macaroni and
cheese, and chicken tenders (breaded, of course).
If you were childless, you could choose any restaurant that
caught your fancy, be seated without asking for a booster chair and
enjoy a great meal with adult conversation, or no conversation if
you preferred.
If you have children, you are going to choose a restaurant based
on the quality of the kids menu. You are going to need that booster
chair. You will probably ask for a booth to keep the kids contained,
and hopefully seated, during the entire meal. Adult conversation is
a lofty goal; silence is impossible. Any conversation is
interspersed with comments meant to encourage forks being lifted
into little mouths and with muffled interjections when, inevitably,
a glass of juice is spilled.
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 The clothes a parent wears will never be seen on a stage or
runway. We parents wear very basic clothes that we don't mind
getting stained with grape jam. There are no gaping pleats or
billowing folds that just beg to get snagged on a doorknob. Wise
parents buy clothes that stay snug to their bodies, not because they
have gained too much weight, but for two entirely different reasons:
-
To make one's body
more aerodynamic when leaping from one catastrophe to another.
-
Snug clothes won't snag on something in
midflight and dislocate an integral part of one's anatomy.
I relearned this lesson the other day when I slung my daughter's
pink and silver fashion scarf around my neck to keep from sucking it
up with the vacuum cleaner. I had found it on the living room floor,
and I didn't want to stop vacuuming and walk it all the way to her
room.
Later that day, while I was cutting strips of paper for a mosaic
project she was working on, the end of the scarf got caught in the
rotary cutter and nearly strangled me. I had to explain to my
husband why I was wearing a rotary cutter around my neck and
convince him that, until two minutes ago, it was the latest fashion
accessory.
Now, it was so two-minutes-ago and I needed him to help me get it
off.
My point is, because one has to adapt to so much change when one
has children, it might seem like the worst idea in the world to
become a parent, but most parents will tell you that, believe it or
not... it's so worth it!
[By LAURA SNYDER]
Laura Snyder is a nationally syndicated columnist,
author and speaker. You can reach her at
lsnyder@lauraonlife.com
or visit www.lauraonlife.com
for more info. |
