 I have no idea what caused this post-teen crisis that my 22-year-old
is going through, and I have no idea how to make it stop.He's the
nicest guy you'll ever meet. He's got the most open personality, the
most welcoming mien and the cheeriest disposition. Then there's that
ragged shock of hair that he thinks makes him look like Antonio
Banderas. I think he looks like a thug.
At 6-foot-7, he is already an imposing figure. But now, if you
saw him walking down the street, you'd grab your children and cross
to the other side.
The smile that beams angelically from his beautiful face now
looks incongruously evil with the hair dripping down the sides of
his face.
He is in college right now, working on a computer programming
degree. When he started, he told me that the whole class looked as
if they had just wandered out of a bad dream and hadn't showered,
shaved or even changed their clothes since their last date, which,
presumably, had been quite some time ago. Some of them hadn't seen
the sun in as long.
At the time, he thought they were just plain lazy and needed to
get a life (which is what someone thinks when they meet someone who
looks like that). Now, however, like the Borg on "Star Trek," he's
been assimilated.
Obviously, if he was pulling in a six-figure income and I wasn't
his fallback for any financial catastrophes that he got himself
into, I wouldn't care if he grew two heads and wore spandex. But,
alas, he is not yet financially feasible. He works part-time for
just above minimum wage. The most immediate goal he has is landing a
job in his field. At least, I hope that is what his most immediate
goal is.
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 How, I ask you, is he going to land a great job when he looks
like someone who might steal your loose change if you let it sit
around?
He tells me that if he doesn't look like a programmer, no one
will take him seriously. I say, show me a programmer who makes lots
of money, and I'll show you one who doesn't look as if he crawled
out from under a park bench. Even if he wanted to start his own
business, he'd have to appeal to banker-types and investors. What
would they think of his unruly locks and unkempt appearance?
He could've had a midlife crisis like everyone else. By then, he
would've had that great job already and made enough money to buy the
red sports car. But no, he has to do it now, when it matters the
most! If only he had waited one more year to make whatever statement
he is trying to make.
Many people will say that I should be grateful to have a son who
doesn't drink, smoke or do drugs. I should be happy that he has a
job and is going to college. It could be so much worse.
Don't get me wrong, I am happy with my son and very, very proud
of him for his integrity and his work ethic, among many other
attributes. I simply want everyone else to be proud of him as well;
to be able to introduce him to friends or a possible employer
without having to explain that he's not as bad as he looks. He
really is someone you can depend on and be proud of. He only looks
like a carjacker.
I love this man-child of mine. He is one of the greatest joys of
my life -- a treasure, really -- but, I swear, he is going to drive
me to drink!
[By LAURA SNYDER]
Laura Snyder is a nationally syndicated columnist,
author and speaker. You can reach her at
lsnyder@lauraonlife.com
or visit www.lauraonlife.com
for more info. |
