 Most of us will take precautions to hang on to our health as long as
possible. We take vitamins, eat right and exercise. A few of us have
the conviction that you can't live forever anyway, so why not do
just what you please and deal with health issues when they arise? We
are the reason health insurance is so expensive.I fall somewhere
in between. Because those two trains of thought are so extreme, I
find myself vacillating between them every few weeks.
Currently, I am in the stage where I want to live long enough to
see my great-great-grandchildren, no matter how many doughnuts I
have to give up. Well, OK, I will probably never give up doughnuts,
but I do take less mayonnaise on my ham and cheese sandwich.
Exercise is probably good for me. If I could do it consistently,
I could burn those doughnuts off my thighs. Unfortunately, I have
the kind of body that, if I should try to take a jog every morning,
like some of my fanatic (but skinny) neighbors, everything would
shake loose and I'd need a chiropractor to put it all back together
again. Picture a woman made of Legos trying to jog… Yeah, you've got
it now.
In the interest of self-health, I have started turning on the TV
every morning. Yes, I know that doesn't help, but I put it on the
Fitness Channel and watch it standing up. I should get half of a
health-point for doing that.
The Fitness Channel appears to be all about people bending
themselves into pretzels and smiling while they are doing it. It's
very inspirational, until I realize that I might be past the point
of no return where pretzel-bending is concerned.
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 There is some Indian chick I watch who does belly dancing moves.
I just know that trying to make my belly do that would surely knock
all the knickknacks off my mantel. My belly doesn't work like hers.
Can bellies be retrained?
Gilad, the "Israeli stud muffin," struts his considerable stuff
all over the screen, and I can barely get excited. He makes stomach
crunches look like a party to which I wasn't invited. All the lesser
stud muffins and cupcakes behind him are always smiling and never
seem to break a sweat. It's depressing.
Then there are the beautiful people who exercise by doing popular
dance moves. I never learned to dance like that. When I try, I look
like a beluga whale having an epileptic seizure. My husband tells me
to stop scaring the children.
At some point, if I want to stay healthy, I will have to get
serious, take off my bathrobe and actually start doing these
exercises. For now, it's enough to watch them until they seem
normal… or until I'm back in the "I don't give a darn" stage --
whichever comes first.
Is it possible to get healthy merely by watching people sweat?
[By LAURA SNYDER]
Laura Snyder is a nationally syndicated columnist,
author and speaker. You can reach her at
lsnyder@lauraonlife.com
or visit www.lauraonlife.com
for more info.
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