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I try to be very present in my children's lives. They may say that
I'm a little more present than they'd like me to be. That's what
kids say when they want to do something they know their parents
won't allow. Most parents want to raise their children right. They
want them to learn values that will help them live a good life and
keep them out of jail: values like honesty, respect and honor. In
general, parents want to raise children who are self-sufficient,
contributing members of society.
If most parents want that, then why are there so many kids who
are lost? I think that parents sometimes are so caught up in life
itself that they sometimes forget to zero in on their kids' lives,
and they miss the day their child goes off the path.
The day that a child first decides to take one of his Hot Wheels
to school and trade it for a Happy Meal toy is the day he becomes
aware of "criminal economics." He knows now that there are "buyers"
out there for almost anything.
The day your child makes off with whatever cool item you have
hanging from your rearview mirror and trades it for a dinosaur silly
band is the day his life of "crime" starts. If nobody catches him,
he'll do it again.
The next time, he might take his brother's Lego scorpion from the
Indiana Jones set and trade it for a grape-scented pencil topper. If
nobody catches him, he'll do it again.
It won't be long before he's taking his dad's thumb drive and
swapping it for an MP3 player. If nobody catches him, he'll do it
again.
By the time middle school arrives, he'll be taking the money you
gave him for a field trip and spending it on a pack of cigarettes.
If nobody catches him, he'll do it again.
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 When he's in high school, he'll be able to drive, and he'll have
gotten the 411 on pawn shops. Did you know they'll take almost
anything and turn it into cash, even if it isn't yours? Well, you
have to tell the pawn guy that it's yours, but how else are you
going to get cash? I'm fairly certain that the local drug dealers
won't trade for grape-scented pencil toppers.
...And if somebody catches him... he'll go to jail.
The fail-safe here, of course, is the child's parent. If a parent
doesn't catch him early and show him that there are consequences for
"trading" things that don't belong to him, there can be only one
outcome.
Catching your child one time is not enough. You must catch him in
the act many more times than you miss it. You must be vigilant. You
must be "awake." You must be present.
If your favorite necklace goes missing, it didn't just get up and
walk away, people! Before you write it off, check backpacks and
pockets, drawers and pillowcases. But, for heaven's sake, don't let
him get away with it! Think of the bail money you'll be shelling out
in 10 or 15 years!
This is a child who has incredible entrepreneurial potential. He
simply needs to be taught legal ways in which to practice it.
Writing off an incident that goes against the values you want to
teach your child is like writing off your child. He may not like it
when you force your values on him, but ask yourself this: If you
don't insist on him displaying those values, why would he do it?
[By LAURA SNYDER]
Laura Snyder is a nationally syndicated columnist,
author and speaker. You can reach her at
lsnyder@lauraonlife.com
or visit www.lauraonlife.com
for more info. |
