Slim Randles' Home Country

The men try haiku

[November 20, 2010]  ^"Now ladies," said Sarah McKinley, owner of the Read It Now bookstore, "I came here to the Triple L ... that is, the Ladies Literary League, to announce my store's haiku contest. I've been given a year's subscription to a national magazine to use as a prize. Haiku, as you know, is a traditional kind of poetry in Japan, using 17 syllables in three lines of five, seven and five syllables. I can't wait to read your entries."

There was applause. Then Mrs. Doc raised her hand.

"Yes, Mrs. Doc?"

"Which magazine?"

"Manly Pursuits. It's new."

For some reason, a subscription to Manly Pursuits didn't set the ladies on fire, but Anita was there and she told Dud about it, and Mrs. Doc reported it to Doc when she got home. In 15 minutes, guys who never expected to do anything Japanese at all were counting syllables on their fingers.

Delbert McLain, our chamber of commerce, turned in the first one.

Progress is needed,
Factories and condos come
Not a bad old deal.

Sarah smiled noncommittally and moments later, Doc walked in with his piece of paper.

Tying on a fly,
Lunker waiting in the pool,
I'll need more than luck.

Dewey, in a fit of mechanically inclined literacy, handed her this one:

Engine coughing hard,
Power to the solenoid,
Purring nice and smooth.

Later that afternoon, Steve walked into the store, removed his hat and handed Sarah the following:

Saddle up ol' Snort
Take a deep seat and short rein
He won't buck me off.

So far, not one from a woman. Sarah sighed and added Steve's to the growing stack just as Dud walked in. He handed it to her.

Eyelids won't open,
Driving my pickup by Braille
Time to drink coffee.

Oh, well, she thought, it could've been worse.

But how, exactly?

[Text from file received from Slim Randles]

Brought to you by Slim's new book of the outdoors, "Sweetgrass Mornings." More at www.unmpress.com.