 It was an annual exam, a habit I hope all of my readers will
develop. It may save your life one day. Yes, it's expensive to go to
the doctor, even if you are not ill. But nobody complains about
paying for car insurance, which is really paying for an accident
that hasn't happened yet. Consider your annual exam your real health
insurance.We all know the drill. That's why we put off such an
important preventive measure. It seems like a waste of time to sit
around in a waiting room, waiting for someone to tell you that you
are fine, but you need to lose weight. Who knows what creates such
long waits? I think it might be that the appointment-maker books
appointments before the doctor stops hitting the snooze button.
So... it certainly isn't the doctor's fault.
Most doctors want to spend at least 15 minutes with each patient,
as is our due. It isn't the doctor's fault that the appointments are
booked every three minutes.
I suggest you bring a book and a snack. If Murphy's law worked in
the opposite direction and you are prepared for a long wait, you
will be seen three seconds after you settle into a comfortable
armchair.
Fear not, though. You will most likely still need your snack in
the examination room. The waiting will simply continue in a
different room. The only difference will be that you will be noshing
on your cheese doodles while wearing a paper toga, and the chair
will be a cold pedestal covered in paper, with no back support. You
will soon be wishing you were waiting in the waiting room again.
There is no elegant way to greet your doctor. It is uncomfortable
at best.
Your doctor is afforded liberties you would never allow anyone
who hasn't paid for your dinner first. But they have bazillions of
dollars in student loans that prove they have paid for that
privilege.
Sometimes when I go visit my doctor, she tells me something I
didn't know. This year, I was told I should be taking vitamin D and
that I needed a tetanus booster. That was a lovely surprise. I had
prepared myself for having blood sucked out of my arm, but the
tetanus shot was a bonus, I guess.
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 Children are conditioned to be afraid of the doctor because, for
the first few years of their life, they have to get shots nearly
every time they go. By the time their 12-year boosters are due, they
have convinced themselves that doctors are dungeon masters skilled
in the art of torture.
My boy, who is 9, saw his pediatrician last week as well. He
didn't need a booster shot and it was hard to convince him that he
wasn't going to get a shot.
Unfortunately, the first thing the doctor asked me was, "Do you
want me to give him a flu shot today?"
She was playing dirty. If she had said, "He needs a flu shot," I
could have simply nodded and blamed it on the doctor. I had just
finished convincing him that he doesn't need a shot, so if I
answered her question, "yes," which would have been the right thing
to do, I would have been a traitor, not to mention a liar.
He was spared this time, but now I'll need some divine
intervention to protect him from the flu.
My son was on a medication that has a side effect of making him
eat like a bird. The pediatrician thought he needed to gain some
weigh. She prescribed ice cream daily... taken orally. Yes, that's
what she said. How else would you take it, I wonder?
I was in shock. Trying to get my kids to eat things that were
good for them had been my life's work. The doctor had just turned my
world upside down... and made a lifelong friend of my boy.
He, in delight, and I, in dismay, said in unison, "Really?"
"Yep," she said. Then she gave him a high-five and quipped,
"Who's your doctor, huh?"
I wonder if she takes older patients?
[By LAURA SNYDER]
Laura Snyder is a nationally syndicated columnist,
author and speaker. You can reach her at
lsnyder@lauraonlife.com
or visit www.lauraonlife.com
for more info.
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