Slim Randles' Home Country

Dump development makes news

[September 18, 2010]  It actually took three hours for the story to make a complete circuit of the valley. We were surprised. Normally, it takes about 20 minutes. It must have been the humidity.

Unlike the stories to be found in our beloved Valley Weekly Miracle, this story didn't have to be checked for accuracy, spelled right, proofread, set in type or printed. No one had to put a bunch of them in a machine, either. But then, how many times does the V.W. Miracle get a story this hot?

It began at 9 a.m. during the post-breakfast coffee break at the philosophy counter of the Mule Barn coffee shop. Our chamber of commerce, Delbert McLain, popped in to tell us of a proposed project so unbelievably fabulous that mere life here in the valley would never be the same again.

"A group of Spanish investors," Delbert said, wiping the foam from his lips, "are looking into the concept of a proposed subdivision out by the dump. This, my friends, would be Outside Money coming to the valley."

"What will they call the place, Del?" asked Doc.

"Basura Vista Estates," Delbert said. "That's Spanish, you know."

That was at 9. Shortly after that, the members of the world dilemma think tank went to jobs and gardens and wherever someone would tolerate them and met again at the Mule Barn for lunch at noon.

But Dud, in the meantime, asked his wife what "basura" meant. Anita said it was pronounced "Basra" and was a city in Iraq. Anita went to the Curl Up 'N Dye beauty salon for a tuneup and told Evelyn about the new subdivision. Evelyn told the next three ladies who got "done," and one of them told several people at the supermarket.

So at noon, with a quorum of philosophers present at the Mule Barn, it surprised few when Bert walked up to the guys and said: "Have you heard? A bunch of terrorists are going to build a training camp out by the dump and move in tanks and helicopters!"

Let's see the Valley Weekly Miracle beat that.

[Text from file received from Slim Randles]

Sponsored by: www.pearsonranch.com. Farm-direct, delicious California navel and Valencia oranges.