 On my nightstand was the book my daughter had left there. I picked
it up and began reading about the maelstrom that wrecked the
family's ship.One minute I was in my cozy bed reading a classic
tale, and the next, I was tying laundry baskets together with
electric cords so we could float to the island in the distance. In
my mind, the laundry baskets would have no problem floating despite
the fact that they were full of holes.
We put the kids, two cats, two hamsters, a fish and our pineapple
plant into the laundry baskets and used a garden rake to paddle to
safety.
Later, I would think that bringing a fish to an island was really
unnecessary and that since pineapple plants only produce one fruit
after three years, we should have used that basket for something
more practical, like food or water. At least the fishbowl had water
in it.
At the island, we'd each have to pull our own weight if we wanted
to survive. I assessed each person and the skills that each could
bring to the table.
My youngest boy is impulsive, adventurous and bossy. He would
probably be the one who would find the necessities we needed, due to
his penchant for exploration and his willingness to try new things
... except any kind of vegetable or meat. He would also be the one
we'd need to rescue most often. If there were pirates, he'd try to
befriend them and then tell them how to be pirates.
My daughter can make things out of nothing. She could make a set
of china out of coconuts and oyster shells. If my husband made her a
notched stick and presented it to her as a crochet hook, she'd make
us each a wardrobe made of palm fibers and squirrel hairs. She's
awesome that way.
[to top of second column] |
 My 14-year-old is extremely smart about many things. He could
tell us whether an animal was poisonous, how to catch said animal,
how to make gunpowder and how to catch an animal with gunpowder. He
could tell us when the first full moon would be, what the
probability is of an airplane from Dulles flying over our island
anytime in the next four years (zero), and the concentration of
sulfur in our drinking water. He could tell us exactly what was in
everything we ate, but since he subsists on an exclusive diet of
burgers and peanut butter, he would also be the first to succumb to
starvation.
My husband thinks if he has his magnesium flint stick and a
coffee pot, he is invincible, the ultimate Survivorman. Sometimes he
can get carried away with the whole survival thing, though. My
youngest boy could catch a lobster with his toe and my husband might
throw it back (the lobster, not the toe), in favor of cooking some
beastly worm for dinner. We would have to curb his zealousness.
Me... well, I have always prided myself on the fact that I can
cook a spaghetti dinner over an open fire. (I didn't think about
where I was going to find spaghetti on a deserted island. That was
clearly my youngest son's job.) I have also been known to
accidentally set my kitchen on fire -- a skill that could come in
handy when trying to alert passing ships of our presence.
When I awoke this morning, I decided that, in spite of our
dubious survival skills, I would prefer not having to test them...
ever. The prudent thing to do would be to avoid ships of any kind.
[By LAURA SNYDER]
Laura Snyder is a nationally syndicated columnist,
author and speaker. You can reach her at
lsnyder@lauraonlife.com
or visit www.lauraonlife.com
for more info. |
