|
 I didn't want to hurt his feelings, but he was
not an adult yet, and therefore, he was not old enough to decide when
his bedtime should be. That is because his brain is not fully
engaged yet, and I don't anticipate that happening anytime soon.
How to explain this to him without sounding
condescending?
If you are not an adult by the age of 10, when would he be
considered an adult?
One thing I was sure of: Age has nothing to do
with it.
I have met young people who are very mature for their age, and I have
met older people who act like 2-year-olds.
"When I have a license to drive, I'll be an
adult, right?"
my boy asked.
"Um, not necessarily. In fact, if you don't act
like an adult, you will lose your driver's license."
"Act" is the operative word here, I think. There
isn't an adult on the planet who doesn't want to jump on the bed or
splash through a puddle now and then. All of us want to be selfish
and not share our cookies from time to time. But at some point in
our lives, we realized that "acting" like an adult would be more
beneficial in the long run. We might only jump on the bed when we
can no longer restrain ourselves. Splashing through a puddle is
reserved for those days when you happen to be wearing flip-flops
rather than your new tennis shoes.
At this point, we have begun to accept that if
you jump on the bed every day, you're going to have a broken bed. We
have learned to think of the consequences. Jumping on the bed means
either paying for a new bed or sleeping on the floor. As a child,
you may have thought that sounded pretty cool. At that time, you
wouldn't have felt as much of your mass pressing against the hard
floor.
So, maybe adulthood is about how much mass you
have?
Nope. I have seen people with an obscene amount
of mass who still hadn't matured. In fact, if they had shared their
cookies, they might not be so massive. I still can't say no to a
piece of chocolate cake, so perhaps I still have some maturing to
do.
So restraint may be part of being an adult.
[to top of second column] |
I thought about all the things I still needed to
teach my boy before I could, in good conscience, turn him loose on
the rest of the world. I told him that he had to "act" like an adult
before he would be granted the privileges of an adult.
"But I do!" he whined.
"In your opinion, what does an adult act like?" I
asked.
"Well, for one thing, they get to choose what
time they go to bed. They get to eat whatever they want to eat and
go wherever they want to go."
"If I can do all those things, why don't I go to
bed at 4 in the morning and sleep till noon? Why don't I eat
cupcakes for dinner and lollipops for breakfast? If I can go
wherever I want, why aren't I anywhere but here right now?"
"I guess it's because you shouldn't do those
things," my little genius said.
Bingo! We have a winner!
"So," I said slowly, "An adult is someone who knows what he should
do and does it without anyone having to tell him."
"I do that!" he insisted.
I looked at him skeptically and asked, "Are you
wearing underwear?"
"Um, ...Oh."
Yeah, it'll be a while for this one.
[By LAURA SNYDER]
Laura Snyder is a nationally syndicated columnist,
author and speaker. You can reach her at
lsnyder@lauraonlife.com
or visit www.lauraonlife.com
for more info.
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