 Well, I had to load the dishwasher, but then it said, "Let me take
it from here, so you can go relax."I was dreaming, of course. I
will never hear those words except in my dreams.
I have accustomed myself to that fate, but it doesn't mean I
can't wish for a break now and then.
In fact, there seems to be more work to do now, even with all the
advances in technology. Those advances have made it possible to get
a task done more quickly, so that you can fit more tasks into your
day.
Still, a girl's got to prioritize. Some tasks would necessarily
fall to the bottom of the to-do list. For example, when was the last
time you darned socks or ironed bed sheets? Collectively, we have
realized that socks are considered disposable. If they have a hole
in them, it takes much less time and effort to go buy another pair,
rather than wasting precious time trying to darn them. As for
ironing bed sheets? Really?
Of course, one could argue that while I was sitting in my living
room, letting the dishwasher do my work, I could have been darning
socks. However, I would advise all lifetime volunteers to draw the
line somewhere. Darning socks is where I drew mine.
As for ironing, most of us have discovered that if your clothes
get hung up or folded promptly after drying, ironing is not
necessary. Besides, as a nation, we have apparently decided that a
few wrinkles are acceptable, and sometimes even desired.
When the fashion world declared that wrinkles were in, women
everywhere wryly noted that after high heels, pantyhose, miniskirts
and thong underwear, the world finally got something right.
With regard to thong underwear, I'd rather have panty lines, but
don't get me started…
I digress… (but with good reason!).
Anyway, it's clear to me that there is a man in charge of doing
the research and development on household appliances. I know this
because a women still has to push a vacuum around the house. A man
can ride around the backyard on a garden tractor to cut the grass
and he'll call it work.
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 With today's open floor plans, it should be possible to build a
house tractor that we can ride around the house. It could pick up
everything in its path and sort it: toys, socks, trash, remote
controls, food. Then you could simply drive to the appropriate drop
zone -- closet, toy box, trash can -- and deposit your load.
For every job men do, they have a machine that does it for them.
There are machines for digging a hole, nailing, screwing, sawing,
cutting trees, trimming bushes, you name it. Yet, we're still
pushing a broom and mop around the kitchen floor. We're still
folding every article of clothing in the house. We're still manually
removing dust from our furniture. We're still digging crumbs out
from beneath our sofa cushions.
What we need is some women on the R & D team.
Unfortunately, most of us are too busy sweeping, mopping, folding
and dusting to have any time for tinkering. It's a Catch-22.
My husband seems to have plenty of time for tinkering, as well as
channel surfing and exploring the Internet. He has never invented a
miracle machine to make household chores any easier. In fact, he is
the chief producer of many of the things I have to pick up every
day.
However, as he was wandering around the Internet the other day,
he discovered that we have 200,000 frequent flier miles: enough for
a trip to Hawaii for all of us.
While I swept the kitchen floor for the bazillionth time, he did
the research, which, in all honesty, took much longer than sweeping
the floor. While I folded a mountain of laundry, he booked our
tickets. While I wiped spots off bathroom faucets, he reserved a
small house on the beach for us.
He has not quite achieved the "Do My Work for Me Award" like my
beloved dishwasher, but having tickets to Hawaii does feel a lot
like "Let me take it from here, so you can go relax."
[By LAURA SNYDER]
Laura Snyder is a nationally syndicated columnist,
author and speaker. You can reach her at
lsnyder@lauraonlife.com
or visit www.lauraonlife.com
for more info.
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