 I asked my kids
to pack one bag for themselves with the things
they'd need for our trip to Hawaii.Yes, I was starting the
process way before I had to, but I've never been a last-minute sort
of person. I needed to know where the gaps in our preparedness were
going to be before it was too late to do something about it. What if
somebody didn't have a swimming suit that fit? I needed to know that
now. Though, I'm not sure where I'd buy a swimming suit in
February... but I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.
I learned very quickly that there is a huge difference between
what I think is necessary for a trip to Hawaii and what my kids
think is necessary.
I told them how long we were likely to be there and what the
temperatures were likely to be. Was I wrong to think that if they
packed their own bags, there would be a few less tasks that I had to
do?
The answer is yes, I was wrong.
My 14-year-old intended to travel light where clothes are
concerned. He was bringing two pairs of swimsuits and three
T-shirts. I asked him if he intended to change his underwear between
showers.
"We get to take showers?" he asked.
That wasn't the point I was trying to make, but can I help it if
he piles on the points before I get a chance to address them?
"Of course, there will be showers. Now, back to the underwear."
"What about them?"
"Where are they?"
"If I pack underwear, I won't have room for my telescope and my
metal detector."
"We're not setting up a science lab in Hawaii! Besides, if you
don't wear underwear, they'll make you dance at the luau!"
He looked sufficiently horrified. There would be underwear in his
bag.
My daughter was well-prepared clotheswise. Girls tend to think
ahead that way. She may have been better prepared than I was, in
fact. She found it necessary to pack a bag of Cheetos, some
Lifesaver candies and Band-Aids. Apparently, they don't have these
things in Hawaii. Better safe than sorry. She also wanted to bring a
huge fly swatter "to use on all those tarantulas."
"You've been talking to your brother about tarantulas, haven't
you?"
"Yes, and did you know they can shoot missiles out their rear
ends if you make them mad?"
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 With a sigh, I told her that the best way to handle a rogue
tarantula was with Cheetos. One bite and they'd keel over -- like
anyone who ate those vile bits of cheesy-flavored salt balls should.
Feeling fully prepared for anything, including a tarantula
invasion, my daughter zipped up her bag.
My youngest child did not think clothing was an important
component of a packed bag. In fact, when I checked on him to see how
he was doing, I found everything except clothes in his bag.
I pulled out Fuzzles, his stuffed dog; a Game Boy complete with
games; and one orange crayon -- in case he wanted to color. He did
not pack anything to color on so... not sure what his plan was. I
took the crayon out. If there is no paper, kids can get annoyingly
creative with crayons, and I didn't want any "creativity" happening
at 30,000 feet in the air.
He also packed a plastic shovel for the beach, which was logical,
and a blanket, in case our lodgings did not have any (not logical).
He brought a Ziploc baggie full of Legos because no one knows what
might happen if there are no Legos he can play with. This same
baggie contained the uneaten half of a Little Debbie's Zebra Cake
that he decided he might need in Hawaii. He apparently couldn't get
it all the way into the bag without taking a bite first.
He brought his Cub Scout compass in case the plane got lost and a
2-liter bottle for messages in case we were stranded. It was an
island, after all. Again, nothing on which to write a message.
Most important, he told me, he was bringing a jar of water. I
wondered if he thought Hawaii didn't have any drinking water. But
no, he said he was bringing the water to put out the fire if a
volcano should erupt while we're there.
Where to start explaining?
Never mind. I put the jar of water back in his bag.
He was prepared for almost every circumstance except the one
where he might need to get dressed in Hawaii... but what are the
chances of that happening?
[By LAURA SNYDER]
Laura Snyder is a nationally syndicated columnist,
author and speaker. You can reach her at
lsnyder@lauraonlife.com
or visit www.lauraonlife.com
for more info.
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