 It will be nice not to have to monitor chores, video game time and
whether or not someone is wearing their underwear.Trying to
figure out algebraic equations with confused children will be a
thing of the past, like tying shoelaces a bazillion times a day. I
haven't had to tie shoelaces in about five years.
But... I kinda miss tying those shoelaces. I miss packing up
little bags of Cheerios for an outing with my little ones. I miss
the wet kisses, the sticky hands holding my fingers as we walk. I
even miss the toys all over the living room that I had to use a
garden rake to clean up. They really ticked me off then.
Still, if I never step on another Lego again, I'm pretty sure it
won't break my heart. If I never have to close another cereal box or
put the milk back in the fridge for the hundredth time in a day, I
probably will be just fine... won't I?
Life is full of what-ifs and the moments of life are so fleeting.
Why is it so hard to enjoy the imperfect moments while they are
happening?
Today, I can laugh about the way the cloth seats in our van made
my child wiggle and whine about "having troubles"; but it drove me
nuts 12 years ago. The solution, a plastic bag on the seat, is even
more amusing now because it was such a simple fix.
I was horrified 24 years ago when my then 3-year-old sneaked
downstairs and opened every present under the Christmas tree before
anyone woke up. Now, we consider it a legendary feat.
The moment you find out your child has stolen his brother's tooth
from under his pillow and placed it under his own pillow, visions of
jail time and bail bonds race through your head.
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 Years later, after the tooth-napper has lived many years of
honesty and integrity, you think: "That was hilarious!"
Was I supposed to enjoy it when my youngest, at 5 years old,
played for a couple hours at a friend's house, two doors away, only
to find that nobody there was home for those two hours? Funny,
right? At the time, I was not amused. Neither was my neighbor.
What makes those moments so precious now, when they were so...
not precious... back then? Maybe it's having the knowledge now that
these kids are well-adjusted members of society, with no criminal
record.
Could I have said that if I had "enjoyed" those moments when they
misbehaved instead of blowing a gasket? Perhaps a parent's anger and
intolerance for certain behavior is what eventually allows us to
look back and realize that those moments were not only precious, but
pivotal as well.
Had we not allowed the child to see our anger, frustration or
disappointment, the memories of those moments could have been quite
different.
Enjoying the moments of the present is certainly important for
your overall outlook on life. Of course you should enjoy the
present. However, I don't think it is wise to put enjoyment above an
honest reaction to bad behavior.
There will be plenty of time to enjoy the more disagreeable
antics of your children after you've become a successful "empty
nester."
[By LAURA SNYDER]
Laura Snyder is a nationally syndicated columnist,
author and speaker. You can reach her at
lsnyder@lauraonlife.com
or visit www.lauraonlife.com
for more info.
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