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Chris Illuminati, a Lawrenceville, N.J., writer and stay-at-home dad with a 1-year-old son, says he read postpartum brochures the pediatrician gave his wife during an office visit. He said he found himself silently answering yes to questions about symptoms.
Illuminati said he'd never experienced depression, but starting from the time his son was a few months old, he began feeling unusually down, sleep-deprived, trapped and resentful toward a baby who slept fitfully and had disrupted his life.
The 33-year-old father stressed that he loves his little boy, and has never spanked him, but has felt the frustration that might lead others to do so.
"There have been times where I've wanted to, but I've pulled back," Illuminati said.
Overall, 15 percent of fathers had recently spanked their children. Besides being more likely to spank, depressed dads were less likely to read to their kids -- an activity the researchers called part of positive parenting. About equal numbers of depressed and non-depressed dads reported other positive interactions, such as playing games with their kids. The researchers said reading requires more focus that may be difficult when depressed.
Illuminati said he had been finding ways to avoid his son once his wife got home from work, and realized he probably needed help. "I didn't know who to talk to. I felt like a wuss if I mentioned it to anyone," he said.
Blogging about fatherhood helped, he said, and his sadness has mostly subsided now that his son is older.
"It should be studied," Illuminati said. "The hardest part is going to be getting guys to talk about it ... or even recognize it."
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Online:
American Academy of Pediatrics:
http://www.aap.org/
Illuminati's blog:
http://messagewithabottle.tumblr.com/
Copyright 2011 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.
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