 My son is
also a worst-case-scenario kind of person. You cannot be
fully prepared unless you are prepared for the worst thing that
could happen.For my son, the worst that can happen is that the
world as we know it would come to an end for some catastrophic
reason. He would have to survive without all that he is familiar
with.
That would be a scary scenario for sure, but for those of us over
40 years old, the world as we knew it as a child has already ended
and has been replaced with iPods, Bluetooth and Androids.
Other than the congressional constipation we've always dealt
with, nothing much resembles life 40 or 50 years ago.
My son, however, wants to be prepared for the worst, so he has
packed a backpack with supplies he thinks could be important. He
calls this bag his apocalypse bag.
In one pocket of this bag he has a rubber band, a shoelace, a
highlighter (in case he needed to highlight something after the
world ends), a magnifying glass (not for magnifying, but for
starting fires), and a multi-tool.
In another pocket rests a pair of swimming goggles that might
come in handy if the catastrophe that caused the apocalypse was a
flood. He also has an air mask that he confiscated after we did an
insulation job in our attic, because it might be dusty after the
apocalypse.
He has seasonal allergies that cause his nose to run and his
lungs to tighten up, so he has packed his inhaler. That's in the
first-aid pocket, which, he says, is not quite complete. He has no
first-aid supplies yet, but he does have his Red Cross Babysitter's
Training Manual. If he runs across a baby that needs the Heimlich
maneuver, he will be prepared.
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 He has a large black plastic garbage bag stuffed into a side
pocket. No, I don't think he plans to rid the world of litter after
civilization collapses, but it might keep him dry when it rains. If
there is a flood, it probably won't help much. He might use it to
keep the baby dry.
Another pocket holds a deck of magic cards, in case he needs to
impress the native tribes that will surely be created during an
apocalypse. He says a more practical use for the deck is trading
them for food or other supplies.
In the big pocket, he has packed the black sweatshirt I have been
looking for the past three months. Clothes are an iffy thing to
pack. He's a kid. He grows out of his clothes every six months. What
good will a sweatshirt do him if it doesn't fit? Maybe he could
trade it for something like toilet paper, which is something I
would've packed in my apocalypse bag, along with hand sanitizer and
a cellphone. Or, maybe he could use his sweatshirt as a diaper for
the baby.
Lest you think my son is woefully unprepared for a catastrophe,
he did remember something for his stomach: a bottle of water, two
snack bags of Sun Chips, a 100-calorie bag of Keebler Fudge Stripes
cookies and a bag of assorted hard candy. That should last him a
good six hours -- enough time to hike to the nearest vending machine
for some Fritos and baby formula.
He assures me that his bag is not finished yet. He says he still
needs a crank flashlight, lots of batteries, aspirin and an airsoft
gun.
One thing is for sure: He'll certainly be more prepared than I am
when my world ends again.
[By LAURA SNYDER]
Laura Snyder is a nationally syndicated columnist,
author and speaker. You can reach her at
lsnyder@lauraonlife.com
or visit www.lauraonlife.com
for more info.
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