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There are times when a fourth-grader would trade it all for a
chocolate chip cookie. In my home, my children are guaranteed
three square meals a day. Whether they eat it or not is up to them.
My 10-year-old would willingly trade his dinner, especially the
vegetables, for almost anything else.
Yet there are people in this world who would trade everything
they own for a chance at even a basic education or the guarantee of
even one meal every day.
Why is it that our children are so unappreciative of the things
they are given? Because these things are given to them without any
requirements or caveats. Nothing is asked of them in return for
these rights. They are not required to make a minimum grade in order
to retain their right of free education. They are not even required
to behave themselves in school to retain that right.
In the same way, children are not required to do anything to
"earn" their meals. Yes, my kids have chores, but I do not withhold
food if their chores did not get done.
In fact, if either of these rights is impinged upon, no matter
the child's performance in either regard, the parent is seen as a
criminal, in America.
I am in no way suggesting that these rights should be taken away,
but there is compelling evidence that it could turn our educational
system around if education had to be earned.
Something should be asked of kids who want an education. Not
money. Not favors. Something that a child can contribute: a good
attitude, a willingness to work hard, good behavior. They should be
concerned that this amazing right could be taken away if they don't
follow the rules.
Some say a child can be suspended if they do not follow the
rules. But suspension, by its definition, is only temporary. For
those children who practice "regular suspension," it's merely a
vacation in which no other student can indulge. A bonus for being
disobedient.
In countries where education is a privilege rather than a right,
there are no disruptions in the classrooms. The kids know why they
are there and that it may be their only ticket out of poverty. They
are happy to be there. They want to learn. Distractions are frowned
upon, not reveled in. Intelligence is revered, not reviled.
The same can be said for those poor children who only get one
meal a day, if that. Many times, they have to earn it with some
small service. Then, they eat every scrap on their plate, whether it
is their favorite or not. Spinach, broccoli and beets go down as
fast as Chicken McNuggets and french fries would.
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No, I am not a proponent of starving my children or depriving
them of an education. What I'm saying is that, ironically, if these
things were not guaranteed, our society would try harder to achieve
them. They would be valued.
In America, a college education is not guaranteed. It is not a
right, it is an option -- an option that should be coveted by anyone
who wants to make a good living as an adult.
Unfortunately, many American parents have not only insisted on
their children going to college, but they have also guaranteed it by
funding it for their children.
Again, it is something that is being given to young adults with
no expectations -- only the hope that they will see the importance
and perform accordingly.
Unfortunately, it is not enough that a parent desperately wants a
decent life for their child. The child has to want it as well. If
they want it, they will invest their own time and money as well as
their blood, sweat and even some tears.
The myth that one set of parents should fund multiple children's
college educations is perpetuated by colleges and universities. If
there is a balance on the account, the administration immediately
turns to the parent, not the student. But if a parent asks for a
list of the student's grades, they are told it's none of their
business because the child is over 18. Apparently, this means that
college students are old enough to do without their parents'
guidance, but not old enough to do without their money.
Colleges are facilities dedicated to the pursuit of making money,
as any business is. They have no stake in your child's education. If
a child decides to party through all four years, riding on the very
edge of a passing grade, the colleges couldn't care less. What's
worse, the student's parents would never even know. Your tuition
money buys only your child's right to be there.
If a student has not had to pay his own way through college by
way of part-time jobs and loans, it is difficult for that student to
place the proper value on it. Even after a diploma has been issued,
what incentive does he have to go to work if mom and pop are still
paying for everything?
It is inherent in humans: They do not value what they have not
had to earn. I'm simply saying: Don't make it so easy.
[By LAURA SNYDER]
Laura Snyder is a nationally syndicated columnist,
author and speaker. You can reach her at
lsnyder@lauraonlife.com
or visit www.lauraonlife.com
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