 If I could do that, my kids wouldn't have to make the same dumb
mistakes I once made. It seems rather inefficient on an evolutionary
scale for young humans to make the same mistakes their parents did
and learn the same lessons they did.Parents do try, of course.
However, we can't export information at the flick of a switch. It
has to come out of our brain via our mouth. Unfortunately, there is
something about a parent's voice that makes a kid stop listening. If
the same information came from "MythBusters," a video game or
SpongeBob, it is automatically considered a fact. But if a parent
utters it, it is suspect, up for discussion or summarily dismissed.
Some kids simply have to learn the hard way. They are not wired
to accept information from their parental units.
I've got one like that.
My 10-year-old decided that building a raft in December was a
good idea. I told him I tried that when I was a kid and I got wet.
He, of course, insinuated that I was dumb as a stump and was
convinced he would have a different outcome.
He put together some branches with fishing line and roofing nails
and was annoyed when, after launching his makeshift watercraft, he
realized it wasn't high enough to keep him dry.
He asked for some 2-liter bottles from the recycling bin. He
thought it would help the raft float higher.
"How will you attach them?" I asked.
"With nails."
"You realize that if a bottle has holes in it, it won't float,
right?"
"They'll float," he said with a stunning degree of certainty for
someone who was building his first ship.
He went out with the bottles, nails and a hammer.
I went into the bathroom and starting running a warm bath.
Not for me. For my nautically challenged child who would soon be
soaked to the bone.
[to top of second column]
 |
 A few minutes later, he came back with wet sneakers.
"As soon as I stepped on it, it tipped," he said, surprised.
"Really? I didn't see that coming."
"I think I need something with sides," he decided.
"You mean like a boat?"
"No-oo," he said as if he was talking to a moron. "I'm trying to
BUILD a boat!" I would have chastised him for his sassiness, but I
could see the future in this scenario, and I knew it wouldn't be
long before he got his comeuppance.
"Oh, my mistake," I said looking at his feet. "I thought you were
trying to find an inventive way to wash your sneakers."
Ignoring my sarcasm, which is another thing that doesn't
penetrate a kid's brain, he asked, "Can I try using the recycle
bin?"
"It's not wide enough, you know. If you get in, it will tip
over." This pertinent piece of information merely bounced off his
thick noggin.
"No, it won't," my little genius argued.
I sighed. No amount of logic would sway this boy, I knew. Better
he tries his little experiment while I'm around to rescue him if
anything goes wrong.
"OK, but don't drive any nails through my recycle bin."
He grabbed the plastic recycle bin and headed out the door. I
watched him place his "boat" in the water. Balancing, he gingerly
boarded his craft. Almost immediately, it listed to one side and
pitched its passenger into the freezing water.
It must hurt when information finally penetrates a kid's skull,
because he cried all the way to his bath.
[By LAURA SNYDER]
Laura Snyder is a nationally syndicated
columnist, author and speaker. You can reach her at
lsnyder@lauraonlife.com
or visit www.lauraonlife.com
for more info.
 |
