 I can't help thinking that the Y chromosome was aptly named. "Why?"
is a question I have asked my boys innumerable times since the day
they were born."Why is there peanut butter in my shoe?"
"Why are there Twizzlers in the hamster cage?"
"Why did you stuff a Lego up your nose?"
Why ... why ... Y?
As amusing as life was back then, I couldn't help but wonder if I
was the crazy one. It seemed as though I was the only one in my
family who thought those things were not normal.
Then one day 14 years ago, another being with an extra X entered
my life, and I suddenly knew without a doubt that it was the rest of
my family who were a bunch of lunatics. My daughter, my extra X, had
arrived.
"X" is for X-quisite, X-ceptional and X-citing! Here, in this
tiny scrap of feminine humanity, I would find my sanity.
My little girl grew into a lovely young lady who seems to be wise
beyond her years.
I never had to dig a Lego out of her nose. In fact, I never had
to dig anything out of her nose.
She likes fruits and vegetables, so it's unlikely that she'd be
the one who put peanut butter in my shoes.
The hamster didn't make it through the adolescence of the Y's, so
my daughter put herself in charge of our two cats so they would
survive.
However, she, like her mother, has to constantly gird herself
against the Y's in our household who like to mess with her just to
see if they can tick her off. It's as if they can't stand to see
peace and contentment on the face of an X.
To be fair, though, the Y's are extremely protective of their X.
If she ever brings a boyfriend to the house to meet the family, he
may not make it out alive.
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 Not to worry, my 14-year-old young lady has said that boys are
immature and that based on the Y's in her family, she may never have
a boyfriend.
She X-plored the library last week and brought back the first
book in the "Twilight" series. The Y's went ballistic! You'd have
thought she'd brought home a boyfriend!
One of my older Y's said to me: "I can't believe you are letting
her read that stuff! It's not even believable; the vampires sparkle
in the sun! How ridiculous! Everyone knows vampires don't sparkle!"
This coming from someone who thinks it's OK for his younger
brother to play "realistic" video games where the object is to shoot
people and blow up buildings.
My daughter, in order to soothe the feelings of the Y's, has
started to cover her reading material with book covers so the Y's
can't see what she is reading. X-pansive. DIFFERENT WORD X-actly. X-emplary
X-ceptional X-pedient.
Because my Y's know that they are not allowed to hurt a girl,
they will satisfy their need for conflict by poking my daughter or
invading her space. She has decided to take up Combat Hapkido "for
X-ercise," but when demonstrating on her Y's, she X-hibits restraint
to save their pride. X-cellent.
This young lady began reading the last of the "Twilight" series
yesterday. She suddenly got up, closed the book and announced, "This
book is getting weird now. She's pregnant! How stupid can she be?"
My daughter never picked up the book again. She is ... X-traordinary.
[By LAURA SNYDER]
Laura Snyder is a nationally syndicated
columnist, author and speaker. You can reach her at
lsnyder@lauraonlife.com
or visit www.lauraonlife.com
for more info. |
