Slim Randles' Home Country
Oldster watches the youngsters
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[May 12, 2012]
You know, it isn't always easy being a crossing guard for
the kids. It especially isn't easy when you're an old
crossing guard, and Martin is old. One of these days we'll find out
he discovered fire, I think. This isn't meant as a slight, because
there are few people around here who don't treasure Martin for the
many years he's spent ushering kids across the intersection at the
school since he retired from the ranch work. It's just a fact, being
old means extra work trying to keep up with trends and fads and
technology. |
"The first problem I had," said Martin, "was those cellphone
thingies. You know ... the ones that stick in your ear and make you
look like a Martian with an earring? Man, oh man, the first few
times I saw kids using those, I thought the world was coming to an
end. I'd stop the cars for a kid, and he'd walk across the street,
talking to himself. I thought them kids were nuts, you know? Then
they told me they were on the phone. I still have a hard time
getting used to them. "But this latest doo-lolly they have," he
says, "gives me the heat-seeking fantods. They got these sneakers
now ... maybe you seen 'em ... got these little wheels in 'em? Yeah,
like half a roller skate. Well, those kids come along and I go to
stop traffic, and before I can do that, you know, these little
turkeys sit back on their heels and go sailing across the street on
them wheels. They're too fast for me now."
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He shook his head. "Ain't safe, you know. Just ain't safe.
[Text from file received from Slim Randles]
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