 However, if you put all of them in a burning building and could save
only one, most parents would choose their child, hands down. This is
the most powerful kind of love.This kind of love is most evident
the day your teenager gets a learner's permit. As the parent, it is
now your responsibility to allow your kid, the one who insists on
repeating Internet memes and splitting infinitives, to sit behind
the wheel of a moving 3-ton vehicle while you sit in the passenger
seat, willingly channeling your inner crash dummy.
We do this out of love for our children.
The question is: Why on earth do some people become driver
education teachers? They deserve a medal. They do this for other
people's children! They must be missing some vital nerve to be able
to do that! They are superhuman, maybe even part robot! Or perhaps
they simply want to die, but they like surprises.
Fortunately for them, there is one advantage driver education
teachers have that parents do not. That is the all-important brake
pedal on the passenger's side of their car. I keep slamming my foot
down as if there was one in my car, but so far, it has been
ineffective.
I could use an extra steering wheel as well. My son has a
terrifying habit of drifting from one side of the road to the other.
When I tell him to stay straight, he says, "Define 'straight.'"
His driver education teacher stressed adjusting the mirrors
before the student starts the car. This is difficult to do when the
mirrors on the car are operated electronically. This presented a
frustrating Catch-22 for my son, who couldn't be persuaded to start
the car first. So ... do I have to buy another car? Should we hack
the electronics on the car? Or should we simply sit in the driveway
until the car decides to cooperate?
[to top of second column] |
 As the parent of a new driver, you are not only required to put
your very life into the hands of your squirrelly, know-it-all
teenager, you are also required to be calm and rational at all times
while he is attempting to kill you both.
Someone has to be calm and rational, though. If he is gripping
the steering wheel and yelling "AAAHHHH!!!!" every time a semi
approaches from the other direction, your scream of terror will not
only be redundant, but it will not be helpful ... at all. Plus, it
won't stop the car from hitting the semi, which is even more
terrifying.
One of the rules for a learner's permit states that a licensed
adult driver has to be in the passenger's seat. But it doesn't say
that person has to be conscious. So ... that's an option, I guess.
After much thought, I decided that a better option to stay calm,
rational and conscious would be to simply pretend the car was
impervious to accidents and that it could practically drive itself.
Is that rational? I don't know for sure, but it's best not to
examine that question while my son still needs a co-pilot.
Teaching a teenager how to drive is a lot like the burning
building scenario. You are indeed risking your own life to improve
his chances of survival. Good thing my car is impervious to
accidents.
[By LAURA SNYDER]
Laura Snyder is a nationally syndicated
columnist, author and speaker. You can reach her at
lsnyder@lauraonlife.com
or visit www.lauraonlife.com
for more info. |
