"Epithet time again, Dudley?" said Doc.
"Epithets and heat time,
Doc. When that heat comes along, the only thing that can really
change an attitude is a properly tuned epithet. It's man's emotional
release valve, but of course you know that, being a doctor and all."
Dud doctored his coffee and took a sip.
"Oh ..." said Doc, "right ... of course. We took Epithets 1A and
1B in medical school, naturally. ‘Emotional release valves and their
perfection' they were called. I got an A in Epithetology for the
Masses in my third year, too."
"You're just putting me on."
"Let's look for a moment," chimed in Bert, "at why epithets are
so good for the soul."
"He's going to wave his arms again," whispered Doc to Dud.
"I'm afraid so ..."
[to top of second
"Yes," said Bert, "epithets, particularly those where no swearing
is involved, are like a frustrated man's crossword puzzle. They
bring out enough cleverness and creativity in a man to pour salve on
whatever it is that's bugging the bejesus out of him."
"I know I feel better with salve poured on my bejesus," said Doc,
"First thing I do in the morning, after coffee," said Dud.
"Well, here comes Steve," Doc said, as all eyes turned to the
cowboy who looked wise, in the way a caffeine-starved owl looks
wise. "He'll pour some salve and sense on this entire situation.
"Mornin', Steve," said Dud. "What's going on?"
"Bilious blasphemers, it's hot today!" said Steve.
The groaning continued, off and on, through the toast course.
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