Slim Randles' Home Country
Fertilizer figures
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[July
20, 2013]
The three of
them stood looking at The Fertilizer King's new entry into the world
of corporate success. Dewey Decker, founder, shoveler, president and
chairman of the board, if there was a board, stood next to Emily
Stickles, corporate financial vice president and girlfriend, and
Windy Wilson, willing volunteer. |
In front of them sat an older model riding lawn mower they borrowed
from the Jenkins kid, hooked up to an old 55-gallon steel drum and a
series of pipes coming out of it with spray nozzles on them they
picked up cheap at the hardware store. In the drum was about 50
gallons of liquid manure, soaked in water until it was the color of
iced tea, with some inexpensive acid added to make it perfect for
growing plants. Dud Campbell had done the necessary welding on the
sprayer, and now all that remained was to turn it on and drive
around on Bert's lawn as an experiment.
Emily, the designated note taker, was going over things.
"OK, Honey, I have this pretty much figured out. Five gallons of
‘cow pasture tea' should cover 500 square feet of lawn. Not counting
labor, there is 45 cents per gallon of added ingredients, and we'll
have to figure in about $2 a barrel for the gunny sacks used for
straining it.
"So if we add this, divide by five, and carry the four, this
comes out to your cost of 74 cents per 100 square feet of lawn. Does
it matter what kind of grass is in the lawn? No? OK then, 74 cents.
Then there are the labor costs to be added to that ... shall we say
five bucks per average-sized lawn? Because you have to pay Windy
something to drive the lawn mower. That's right. I know you
volunteered, Windy, but your time is valuable and Dewey may need you
on a non-helper day."
[to top of second
column] |
Windy devotes one day each week to helping someone, for free,
just because.
"Then of course, you have to figure in riding mower rental and
welding charges ... I know they did it for nothing, but you have to
be fair and be a businessman. So you then add on research costs,
long-term debt service ... don't interrupt ... and it comes out to
just under $10 a lawn.
"If the yard is twice as big as most yards, charge $20 for the
‘tea.'"
Windy and Dewey just looked at the smile on her face and smiled,
too. Corporate progress is an amazing thing.
[Text from file received from
Slim Randles]
Brought to you by Home Country (the award-winning book). Take a
look at it at www.slimrandles.com.
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