"I did," Bert said. "It's an amalgamation of common, run-of-the-mill
consumers who are bribed to think for an hour. Wish they'd have
"Free lunch in the back room."
"They didn't pick me, either, fellas," Dud said, "but they picked
my wife. Anita was really looking forward to it. I don't even know
what it's about."
"Worms," said Bert.
"May my pants fall down in church if I'm lyin'. It's worms.
They're talking about worms."
Herb got up and picked up his check. "I'm leaving. Can't stay in
here a minute longer, knowing they're in that room having lunch."
Dud and Bert got up, too. The three paid and went out the front
door into the spring sunshine.
"Reminds me," said Bert, "of the time the preacher went into the
bar and ordered a glass of whiskey and a glass of water..."
[to top of second
"Hush ... So everybody in this bar was watching, see, 'cuz the
preacher was known to hate booze. He looked at the patrons and said,
'I want to show you guys what happens with alcohol!' And he pulls an
earthworm out of his pocket.
"'Look what happens when I immerse this little fella in God's
pure water,' said the preacher. And he dips him in the water and the
worm comes out all wiggly and clean.
"'And now,' said the preacher, 'see what happens to him when I
put him in the Devil's brew!' And he stuck that worm in the whiskey
and the worm stiffened and died instantly.
"'I hope you fellas learned a lesson from this!' the preacher
said, waving the worm about.
And in the back, this old drunk yelled, 'You bet, Reverend. Man
drinks enough whiskey, he'll never get worms!'"
[Text from file received from
Brought to you by the new CD "Having Fun in
New Mexico," Fifteen stories by Slim Randles.