Slim Randles' Home Country
Abyssinia, Charity, Murgatroyd, Sassafras,
Chlorophyllis and Fred
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[August 25, 2014]
The speculating began Thursday again. You see, when it’s
either too hot or too cold or too windy or the snow’s too deep or we
just get tired of thinking about work, we speculate. It’s one of our
There’s speculating about why Sarah down at the Read Me Now book
store has a section called “Love and other Fiction.” She’s never
given us satisfaction on that score, and we even sent ol’ Doc over
to ask her. He struck out.
Then there’s the speculating about Steve’s cabin. Well, not the
cabin itself, as every cowboy needs a hole-up spot, but we still
speculate about Steve’s turret. Not every cabin has a turret.
Steve’s does. Sure we asked him. He just looked at us and said, “If
you had a cabin, wouldn’t you build a turret, too?”
Well, yes, but that still ….
But this summer, our speculating settled on Mrs. Doc once more. We
know from written-down historical fact that she must have a first
name. Doesn’t everyone? But with Mrs. Doc, she just introduces
herself to people as Mrs. Doc. Doc just calls her Honey, and he
won’t tell us her name, either. He says it’s one of those
old-fashioned women’s names and she doesn’t like it.
I mean, even the other ladies in the Ladies Literary League and
Garden Society don’t know.
[to top of second
So the speculating goes on. Herb even walked up behind Mrs. Doc
one day in the store and said, “Hi there, Ermaline.” Didn’t work. So
the speculating ran to names like Abyssinia, Charity, Murgatroyd,
Sassafras, Chlorophyllis and Fred. Bounced them off Doc. He just
shook his head.
“Not even close,” he said.
Maybe we could bribe someone at the driver’s license department in
the city … let’s speculate on that for a while.
[Text from file received from
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