"Good morning, Herb," said Andrea, the receptionist. "What can we do
for you today?"
"Certainly. Have a seat and I'll let Perry know you're here."
In less than a minute, Dr. O'Dontal had Herb seated, numbed and
ready for work. Herb's labored breathing had returned to normal,
even if his speech patterns hadn't.
"At what o' the clock did the infliction attack, good sirrah?"
"Lfft'ent mmst," said Herb.
"You should've used the phone to let me know, Herb. Oh, that's
right. What was I thinking? Well, you're here now. Let's see what we
"You're welcome. Open wide. Little more. Cast open the gates,
Leander! Let us gaze upon the source of woe!"
Perry worked his way through dental school as a Shakespearean
actor and didn't make it out of there unfazed.
[to top of second
"Aha, brothers of mine on this field of battle today, I glimpse
with fearful eye the seat of our alarm. It's a tooth, by Cuspid!"
Perry dove into the fray with drill and pick. Snicker-snick!
GRRRR and fill. Rinse and spit.
"And so, Leander, take these, the pills that weave up the raveled
sleeve of pain. Do so in remembrance of this day, this meeting, this
sceptered isle of dental chair. Those who weren't here with us this
day will forever cast envious eyes upon us, for they will say this
was our finest hour, the culmination of drill and yawn ... the
grinding and filling of fang for fun and profit. Arise, sweet
prince, and fulfill your destiny!"
It's almost worth getting a toothache.
[Text from file received from
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