Slim Randles' Home Country
“Chipper Invitational Golf Tournament
…dedicated to the nuts in the valley.”
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[September 13, 2014]
honor of his entirely fictional pet squirrel, Doc is calling the
annual golf tournament the Chipper Invitational this year. He’s
thinking of making that a permanent name for his invention, the most
unusual golf tournament in history.
Oh, you remember how it began, when Doc decided to raise money
each fall to buy winter coats for some of the local kids who can’t
afford them? And one of the things this valley has never had is a
golf course. But that didn’t slow Doc down. With the laughing
consent of two farmers whose land abutted each other, Doc got busy.
He took a shovel and some long sticks and laid out an 18-hole golf
course in less than two hours.
He’d dig a hole and put a long stick next to it. Then he’d walk a
while and do it again. He did this eighteen times and the course was
ready. On the day of the big tournament each fall, the farmers moved
their cattle to a safe pasture away from the possibility of deadly
golf balls, and the fun was on.
Doc charges ten bucks a head for the tournament, almost every
able-bodied person in the valley plays, and the kids got winter
coats. Not a bad deal.
[to top of second
So this year, in honor of Chipper the
non-existent pet squirrel, Doc laid out the course up by the forest.
The hazards of this year’s course included an elk wallow, a rock
face the size of a library and a thicket of manzanita that a mouse
Mrs. Doc and Anita got together and made a clay statue of the
mythical squirrel sitting up chewing a nut for use as a perpetual
trophy for the winner. They put a little engraved brass plate on it
that reads “Chipper Invitational Golf Tournament …dedicated to the
nuts in the valley.”
We wonder, also, if Doc benefits any from the sale of golf balls
down at the dry goods store.
[Text from file received from
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